Asphodel : $b a novelBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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Asphodel : $b a novel
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
He was fond of art, and had a marked talent for painting; but as he
never extended his labours or his studies beyond the amateur’s easy
course, he was not likely to rise above the amateur’s level. Why should
a man who is sure to inherit a million submit to the drudgery of severe
technical training in order to take the bread out of the mouths of
painters who must needs live by their art? Gerald painted a little, now
landscape, now figure, as the spirit moved him; sculptured a little;
poetised a little; set a little song of his own to music now and then
to please Lina; and was altogether accomplished and interesting. But he
would have liked to be great, to have had his name bandied about for
praise or blame upon the lips of men; and it irked him somewhat to know
and feel that he was not of the stuff which makes great men; or, in
other words, that he entirely lacked that power of sustained industry
which can alone achieve greatness. For his own inward satisfaction,
and for Lina’s sake, he would have liked to distinguish himself. But
the pathway of life had been made fatally smooth for him; it lay
through a land of flowery pastures and running brooks, a happy valley
of all earthly delights; and how could any man be resolute enough to
turn aside from all sensuous pleasures to climb rugged rocky hills in
pursuit of some perchance unattainable spiritual delight? There was
so much that wealth could give him, that it would have been hardly
natural for Gerald Goring to live laborious days for the sake of the
one thing which wealth could not give. He had just that dreamy poetic
temperament which can clothe sensual joys with the glory and radiance
of the intellectual. Politics, statecraft, he frankly detested; science
he considered an insult to poetry. He would have liked the stir and
excitement, the fever and glory of war; but not the daily dry-as-dust
work of a soldier’s life, or the hardships of campaigning. He was not
an unbeliever, but his religious belief was too vague for a Churchman.
Having failed to distinguish himself as a poet, and being too idle to
succeed as a painter, he saw no royal road to fame open to him; and so
was content to fall back from the race, and enjoy the delicious repose
of an utterly aimless life. He pictured to himself a future in which
there should be no crumpled rose-leaf; a wife in all things perfect,
fondly loved, admired, respected; children as lovely as a poet’s dream
of childhood; an existence passed amidst the fairest scenes of earth,
with such endless variety of background as unlimited wealth can give.
He would not, like Tiberius, build himself a dozen villas upon one
rock-bound island; but he would make his temporary nest in every valley
and by every lake, striking his tents before ever satiety could dull
the keen edge of enjoyment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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