Asphodel : $b a novelBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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Asphodel : $b a novel
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
A chambermaid brought Daphne a letter at half-past six o’clock next
morning. She had fallen asleep in the summer sunlight after a night of
almost utter sleeplessness; the warm air blowing in upon her across
the hills on the opposite side of the river; the noises of the early
awakened town floating up from the valley below.
She started from her pillow, scared and agitated at the sound of
the chambermaid’s knock, and took the letter with a trembling hand.
Gerald’s writing! She knew it too well; yet this was the first letter
he had ever addressed to her.
‘How dare he write to me?’ she exclaimed angrily, as she tore open the
envelope.
The letter began with no fond words of endearment. The writer dashed at
his meaning with passionate directness, with feeling too intense to be
eloquent.
‘Tell me what I am to do. After last night, my future, my life, are in
your hands. Both belong to you if you will have them. Shall I break
the truth to Lina? Shall I tell her how, little by little, in spite of
myself, my heart has been beguiled away from that calm affection which
was once all-sufficient for the joy of life; how a new and passionate
love has replaced the old; and that, although I shall honour, respect,
and admire her as the first and best of women till the end of my days,
I am no longer, I never can be again, her lover? I think, Daphne, that
the hard, outspoken, brutal truth may be the wisest and best. Let us
look Fate in the face. Neither you nor I can ever be happy asunder.
Will the sacrifice of my happiness secure Lina’s? Answer me from your
heart of hearts, my beloved, as you answered me on the bridge last
night.’
There was not an instant’s doubt in Daphne’s mind as to how this letter
must be answered. Lina’s happiness sacrificed to hers! Lina, so good,
so pure-minded, in all things so much above her, to be made miserable,
in order that she might triumph in a successful treachery!
‘I don’t think the most virtuous person in the world could loathe me
worse than I should loathe myself, if I were to do this thing,’ she
said to herself resolutely.
She sat down by the open window, wrapped in her loose white
dressing-gown, her soft golden hair falling over her shoulders like a
veil, her cheeks pale, her eyes heavy, an image of youthful sorrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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