whether after all the two little girls, who died in the time of roses,
had not the better part; and whether the great Duchess, who showed
herself so haughty to poor Boswell, when he led his great dancing Bear
through the grim North, did not think sometimes in her state of the
childish sisters with whom she had played, before they came to be laid
in the cool chancel beside the slow stream.
And then we sate down for a little on the churchyard wall, and watched
the water-grasses trail and the fish poise. In that sweet corner of the
churchyard, at a certain season of the year, grow white violets; they
had dropped their blooms long ago; but they were just as much alive as
when they were speaking aloud to the world with scent and colour; I can
never think of flowers and trees as not in a sense conscious; I believe
all life to be conscious of itself, and I am sure that the flowering
time is the happy time for flowers as much as it is for artists.
Close to us here was a wall, with a big, solid Georgian house peeping
over, blinking with its open windows and sun-blinds on to a smooth,
shaded lawn, full of green glooms and leafy shelters. Why did it all
give one such a sense of happiness and peace, even though one had no
share in it, even though one knew that one would be treated as a rude
and illegal intruder if one stepped across and used it as one's own?
This is a difficult thing to analyse. It all lies in the imagination;
one thinks of a long perspective of sunny afternoons, of leisurely
people sitting out in chairs under the big sycamore, reading perhaps,
or talking quietly, or closing the book to think, the memory re-telling
some old and pretty tale; and then perhaps some graceful girl comes out
of the house with a world of hopes and innocent desires in her wide-open
eyes; or a tall and limber boy saunters out bare-headed and flannelled,
conscious of life and health, and steps down to the punt that lies
swinging at its chain--one hears it rattle as it is untied and flung
into the prow; and then the dripping pole is plunged and raised, and the
punt goes gliding away, through zones of glimmering light and shadow,
to the bathing-pool. All that comes into one's mind; one takes life, and
subtracts from it all care and anxiety, all the shadow of failure and
suffering, sees it as it might be, and finds it good. That is the first
element of the charm. And then there comes into the picture a further
and more reflective charm, that which Tennyson called the passion of the
past; the thought that all this beautiful life is slipping away, even
as it forms itself, that one cannot stay it for an instant, but that the
shadow creeps across the dial, and the church-clock tells the hours of
the waning day. It is a mistake to think that such a sense comes of age
and experience; it is rather the other way, for never is the regretful
sense of the fleeting quality of things realised with greater poignancy
than when one is young.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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