The man's modesty was absolutely sincere; yet what a strange confusion
of modesty and vanity after all! If the humility had been PERFECTLY
unaffected, he would have felt that the man who really merited such
a description deserved no memorial at all; or again, if he had had no
sense of credit, he would have left the choice of a memorial to any who
might wish to commemorate him. If one analyses the feeling underneath
the words, it will be seen to consist of a desire to be remembered,
a hope almost amounting to a belief that his work was worthy of
commemoration, coupled with a sincere desire not to exaggerate its
value. And yet silence would have attested his humility far more
effectually than any calculated speech!
The dramatic sense is not a thing which necessarily increases as life
goes on; some people have it from the very beginning. I have an elderly
friend who is engaged on a very special sort of scientific research of
a wholly unimportant kind. He is just as incapable as my sympathetic
friend of talking about anything except his own interests; "You don't
mind my speaking about my work?" he says with a brilliant smile; "you
see it means so much to me." And then, after explaining some highly
technical detail, he will add: "Of course this seems to you very minute,
but it is work that has got to be done by some one; it is only laying a
little stone in the temple of science. Of course I often feel I should
like to spread my wings and take a wider flight, but I do seem to have
a special faculty for this kind of work, and I suppose it is my duty
to stick to it." And he will pass his hand wearily over his brow, and
expound another technical detail. He apologises ceaselessly for dwelling
on his own work; but in no place or company have I ever heard him do
otherwise; and he is certainly one of the happiest people I know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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