London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women artists -- Fiction
February and March passed in the quiet, monotonous Durdleham way. But
as the spring grew into her blood Clytie felt the tingling of life
once again, and the period of inactivity was over. She was not of the
temperament to sit long with folded hands and lament over the futility
of things. The old restlessness of her girlhood, though strangely
modified, again urged her towards a fuller, more vivid existence.
Again she looked out upon the world and its mysteries with a knowledge
begotten of sorrow, and again vague longings took possession of her. She
faced the new condition of things bravely, resolved to struggle towards
a newer, better content. If the short dream had come true, she would
have found happiness in the guidance of another life; but the high gods
had ordained otherwise. As before her marriage, her only problem was the
working out of her own individuality; for henceforward Thornton would be
her husband only in name. In what direction should she carry herself so
as to prevent the fulfilling of her needs from developing into ignoble
egoism? As a girl she had studied life eagerly, had painted from
artistic impulses, from desire for fame, and from material necessity.
Her enthusiasms, the intimacy of her odd social life with Kent and
Winifred, had kept her pure and fresh. Now all was changed. She was
alone. She had learned many things: the touch of the fire of passion,
the taste of the waters of bitterness. Definite enthusiasms seemed to
be wanting; only the artistic impulse urging creation remained to
her--together with mechanical skill. How was she to occupy her life to a
fair and noble purpose? She tried to solve the problem calmly, was wise
enough to smile when she discovered that she failed. One cannot range a
row of potential enthusiasms in front of one, like oranges, and select
in cold blood. So Clytie determined to have faith
“... large in time,
And that which shapes it to some end.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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