London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women artists -- Fiction
Kent! She started, as a wave of blood rushed to her cheeks. She was
going to Kent now, to live under the same roof with him once more, to
see him daily, to take him more intimately than ever into her life.
Until now she had not realised this coherently. Vague thoughts of him
had passed through her mind, but she had been too dazed, too sickened,
too much possessed by the overpowering longing for freedom, escape
from the house of bondage, to connect him definitely with her immediate
future. And in the unconscious sequence of ideas a little self-reproach
came into her mind, bringing with it a sense of soothing. Why had she
not thought of Kent at first, of the true, loyal friend and lover, on
whom she could rely for strength and comfort? How could she have been so
much wrapped up in herself and her wrongs as never to have given him
a place in her plans? And then the tide of feeling ebbed back again,
leaving her heart quite cold and sad. How could she meet him? How could
she tell him? The eternal woman in her shrank from the confession. If he
had been to her but a friend, it had been easy. But she loved him.
Had not her heart sung within her that very morning, only a few hours
before, at the grace and tenderness of her at last awakened love?
And she fought, womanlike, against she scarce knew what, striving
to disentwine herself like Laocoon from the coils that love and
circumstance had wound, in subtle intricacy of convolution, about her
heart. But for all her shrinking she longed for Kent. If only he could
understand it all without her telling! If only he could come that
evening and sit by her side and hold her hand in strong, mute sympathy!
Well, she would conquer her woman's diffidence, and tell him bravely.
She felt she owed him a little reparation. The inherent delight in
putting itself in the wrong is perhaps one of the most elusive traits of
a woman's nature.
The cab stopped before the familiar side door. Mrs. Gurkins, standing
beneath the awning of the shop between the stalls of cabbage and
fruit, gave a gasp of bewilderment as she saw Clytie alight from the
luggage-laden vehicle. She ran round through the connecting passage and
opened the front door.
“You are not coming to stay here, miss?” she asked.
It was only in moments of calm reflection that she could bring herself
to address Clytie more decorously as “ma'am.”
“Yes, I am,” replied Clytie in her decisive way. “Can I have my old
rooms?”
“Of course, miss--but----”
“Well, have my boxes taken up and get things straight for me, Mrs.
Gurkins. You know what an erratic creature I am, don't you? I think I am
going to stay a very long time. I'll go and see Miss Marchpane while you
do all that is necessary. You'll forgive me for putting you to all this
trouble?”
“La, miss--ma'am, I'm that glad to have you back! But Miss Marchpane
left early to-day--about an hour ago. You can go up to the sitting-room.
I was cleaning it out only yesterday.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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