London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Women artists -- Fiction
“Don't you see that? And you of all men who have shared with such
bitterness in the sacrifice! Yes, you, my dearest, my best, my love!
Your life has been sacrificed, your love, your devotion, your nobleness.
For once in the world the man has paid, and not the woman. For two long
years we have lived together, eating at the same table, living a common
life, which, had one great fact been non-existent would have crowned our
days with happiness. I am of Samaria--I don't care. I have offered to
you to defy the world, to live openly together, to bear your name. You
have said 'No,' for my sake sacrificing yourself. Can this life
last forever? Have not the past two years been filled with longings,
restraints, bitternesses, regrets, all silently working--you too loyal
to utter them, I dreading lest the utterance of them on my part should
render you unhappier?”
“I have been happy,” said Kent. “A thousandth part of what you have
given me would have made me more than happy.”
“But your due is a thousand times more!” cried Clytie. “I have given you
little enough, but I have drawn from you the breath by which I live, the
strength, the passion, the will by which I have reached my poor success.
It can't be so any longer; it would be unjust, cruel!”
“Stop, my darling!” exclaimed Kent, greatly agitated. I am a man, and
you are saying things a man cannot bear from the woman he loves. Let
us finish this before it is too late, and I lose mastery over myself. I
have thought over it all--with the fiercest hunger in my heart--even
in moments of our love that have been worth a century of misery. I
have thought over it all ways. What was impossible two years ago is
impossible now. I will not wreck your life by condemning you to scorn
and ostracism and the loss of all that the outside world can give you.”
Clytie did not reply, but turned her face towards the open window,
looking with knitted brow into the patch of blue heaven that was just
visible over the tops of the opposite houses. A great, great longing
possessed her, an infinite tenderness towards the man who could speak
and act so selflessly. She longed to be able to say three little words,
summing up the yearning of her heart: “For my sake.” But they seemed
unutterable at that hour. Perhaps at another time, in a moment of less
vehement tone, when he was unawares, the words could be whispered in his
ear. She sank deep into the thought--utter woman.
A long, long silence, which Kent, uncomprehensive, like a man, did not
dare to break. A thought had seized him too, a troubling doubt. Would he
always be as strong?
At last he drew mechanically out of his pocket an evening paper that he
had bought on the way home, and as mechanically opened it and began to
skim the contents.
Suddenly he leaped to his feet with a loud cry:
“Clytie!”
She sprang up, startled, and saw him standing with white cheeks and
shaking hand, holding out the paper.
“Read--he--he--read!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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