At the Mercy of TiberiusEvans, Augusta J. (Augusta Jane)
History
At the Mercy of Tiberius
Evans, Augusta J. (Augusta Jane)
Rome -- History -- Tiberius, 14-37 -- Fiction
"Wake up, child. Your brain is weak yet and full of queer delirious
visions, and when you doze, realities and dreams are all jumbled
together. You have a deal too much sense to harbor any crazy spiritual
crankiness. Take your wine, and lie down. You have sat up too long, and
tired yourself."
"No. I have wanted to tell you for several days, because you have been
so good, and I have heard you praying here at night that God would be
merciful to me; but I waited until I had strength to be calm. I have
lain here day after day, and night after night, face to face with
desolation and despair, and now I have grown accustomed to the horror.
I know that in this world there is no escape, no help, no hope; so--the
worst is over. When you consent to fate, and stretch out your arms to
meet death, there is no more terror, only waiting, weary waiting. I am
not superstitious, and unfortunately I am not one of the victims of
dementia, whose spectral woes are born of disordered brains. I am sadly
sane; and what I am about to tell you is no figment of feverish fancy.
I do not know how long I have been sick, but one night great peace and
ease came suddenly upon me. I swung in some soft tender arms, close to
the gates of Release, and the iron bars melted away, and my soul was
borne toward the wonderful light; but suddenly a shock, a strange
thrill ran through me, and the bars rose again, and the light faded.
Then all at once my father and my mother stood beside me, bent over me.
Father said: 'Courage, my daughter, courage! Bear your cross a little
longer,' My mother wept, and said, 'My good little girl. So faithful,
so true. I died in peace, trusting your promise. For my sake can you
endure till the end?' They faded away; and sorrow sat down once more,
clutching my heart; and death, the Angel who keeps the key of the Gate
of Release, turned his back upon me. I had almost escaped; I was close
to the other world, and I was conscious. I saw my mother's spirit; it
was no delirious fancy. I know that she is dead. Even in the world of
the released, she grieves over the awful consequences of my obedience
to her wishes. Mortal agony of body and soul brings us so near to the
borderland, that we have glimpses; and those we love, lean across the
boundary line and compassionate us. So my Gethsemane called down the
one strengthening Angel of all the heavenly hosts, who had most power
to comfort my heart, and gird me for my fate, my father, my noble
father. God, in pity, sent him to exhort me to bear my cross bravely."
The low solemn voice ceased, and in the silence that followed, only the
dull patter of the rain, and the persistent purring of a kitten curled
up on the cot were audible. Mrs. Singleton finished the buttonhole in
Dick's apron, and threaded her needle.
"If it comforts you at all to believe that, I have no right to say
anything."
"You think, however, that I am the victim of some hallucination?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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