"My dear, I've been the wife of a undertaker, a livery-stable keeper, a
patent medicine man, a grocer, a butcher, a farmer, an' a justice of the
peace, all in one an' the same marriage. Seems 's if there wa'n't no
business Thomas couldn't feel to turn his hand to, an' he knowed how they
all ought to be run. If anybody was makin' a failure of anythin', Thomas
knowed just why it was failin' an' I must say he ought to know, too, for I
never see no more steady failer than Thomas.
"They say a rollin' stone never gets no moss on it, but it gets worn
terrible smooth, an' by the time I 'd moved to eight or ten different
towns an' got as many as 'leven houses all fixed up, the corners was all
broke off 'n me as well as off 'n the furniture. My third husband left me
well provided with furniture, but when I went to my seventh altar, I
didn't have nothin' left but a soap box an' half a red blanket, on account
of havin' moved around so much.
"I got so's I'd never unpack all the things in any one place, but keep 'em
in their dry-goods boxes an' barrels nice an' handy to go on again. When
the movin' fit come on Thomas, I was always in such light marchin' order
that I could go on a day's notice, an' that's the way we usually went. I
told him once it'd be easier an' cheaper to fit up a prairie schooner such
as they used to cross the plains in, an' then when we wanted to move, all
we'd have to do would be to put a dipper of water on the fire an' tell the
mules to get ap, but it riled him so terrible that I never said nothin'
about it again, though all through my sixth marriage, it seemed a dretful
likely notion.
"A woman with much marryin' experience soon learns not to rile a husband
when 't ain't necessary. Sometimes I think the poor creeters has enough to
contend with outside without bein' obliged to fight at home, though it
does beat all, my dear, what a terrible exertion 't is for most men to
earn a livin'. None of my husbands was ever obliged to fight at home an' I
take great comfort thinkin' how peaceful they all was when they was livin'
with me, an' how peaceful they all be now, though I think it's more 'n
likely that Thomas is a-sufferin' because he can't move no more at
present."
Her monologue was interrupted by the arrival of the stage, which Harlan
had gladly ordered. Mrs. Holmes and the children climbed into it without
vouchsafing a word to anybody, but Mrs. Dodd shook hands all around and
would have kissed both Dorothy and Elaine had they not dodged the caress.
"Remember, my dear," said Mrs. Dodd to Dorothy; "I don't bear you no
grudge, though I never was turned out of no place before. It's all in a
lifetime, the same as marryin', and if I should ever marry again an' have
a home of my own to invite you to, you an' your husband'll be welcome to
come and stay with me as long as I've stayed with you, or longer, if you
felt 'twas pleasant, an' I'd try to make it so."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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