A week passed, in which Frederick carried on a remarkable, but not, as
yet, victorious warfare. He worked in the studio daily, and Miss Burns
became his confidante. From his own mouth she learned what she had
already observed, that he was languishing in the chains of an unhappy
passion. Without ever interfering in his spiritual struggles unless he
positively demanded it of her, she gave him advice as a good friend
and comrade.
"Every time I see Ingigerd, or go out with her, or spend any time at all
with her," he said, "I feel outraged and bored. I have firmly made up my
mind not to go back to her."--A resolution frequently broken a few hours
after it was made.
Miss Eva was so long-suffering that Frederick never felt compelled to
drop the theme of Ingigerd Hahlstroem. The girl's soul was turned inside
out and back again.
One day Ingigerd said to him:
"Take me, seduce me, do with me whatever you will, Frederick. Be strict,
be cruel with me. Lock me up. You are the only man I want to have
anything to do with me any more." Another time she said beseechingly:
"I want to be good, Frederick. Make me good."
But the very next day she again subjected her friend and protector to
unpardonably vile treatment. The fact was, she already had a following of
men, running errands for her, attending to her affairs, thinking for her,
and paying for her.
The thing that Frederick could not wean himself from was that sweet,
fair, frail, pathetic body. Yet he was determined to wean himself.
One day Ingigerd came to sit for Miss Burns for her portrait. Frederick
placed a revolving stand in front of her and also tried to model the
blonde Madonna in clay. Even Ritter had a mass of clay for modelling a
bust of her prepared on a revolving stand, and the master entered into
rivalry with his pupils. Miss Burns's purpose in arranging these sittings
was not easily fathomed. The result was, however, that the very severe
study of his idol's features had a remarkable effect upon Frederick.
The flatness of her forehead, her eyebrows, the setting of her eyes, the
turn of her temples, the shape of her ears and the twist they took where
they joined her head, her nose as narrow as the dull edge of a knife,
her nostrils, the oldish-looking nasolabial line, the depressions at the
corners of her mouth, her beautiful yet brutal chin, her unbeautiful
throat, with the washer-woman's pit in it--all these traits had a very
sobering effect upon Frederick, sapping from his imagination every bit
of its strength to beautify or palliate. Perhaps Miss Burns knew what
results from such strenuous, such persistently logical observation of an
object. In some ways it has the same effect as blood-letting. That is why
the artist must bleed to death unless new sources of illusion always open
up to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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