Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
General
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
Any such employment, too, even if I were to obtain it, would inevitably
be associated with a loss of income that would seriously cripple me in
those fuller religious duties for which I was so evidently being
prepared. For this at any rate had become abundantly clear to me—and
indeed it was the sheet anchor by which I clung to life—that I could not
but emerge from such an abyss of suffering enormously the richer in
strength of character. More than ever, therefore, would it be desirable
in future not only that I should be immune from financial anxiety but
that I should have at my disposal a larger amount of leisure for my more
sacred avocations. Indeed, if this were possible, I felt that
henceforward I should be entirely freed from the necessity for
money-making, and thereby liberated for the completer uplifting of all
with whom I might be brought into contact.
Such then were the conclusions to which I had been driven, and which I
would already have communicated to Ezekiel, had the latter visited me on
what Simeon has so well described as the bed of complete exhaustion.
Since I had been carried from the meeting, however, to Miss Maidstone’s
vehicle—it was her two brothers who had borne me home—I had neither
looked upon Ezekiel’s face nor received a message from his lips; and
this in spite of the fact that I had sent him six of my pamphlets for
his own use and that of his sisters. I therefore decided, when I had
accumulated sufficient strength—and this was not for another
fortnight—to visit him in my own person, though naturally I did so with
considerable reluctance.
Nor can I say that I was agreeably impressed either by his reception of
me or his subsequent attitude, in which I could not but detect a good
deal of that arrogance lately so manifest in his character. It was quite
clear, however, that the subject of my errand did not take him by
surprise, and indeed he assured me, almost at once, that he had been
expecting it for some days. He then remained silent with his back to his
fire and continued to stare at me rather offensively.
“Do you mind,” I said, “if I sit down?”
“Not at all,” he replied. “You can do as you please.”
I therefore did so, but so distant was his manner that it was difficult
to reconcile it, as I immediately pointed out to him, either with his
duty as a Xtian or his privileges as an host.
“In fact, you appear to have forgotten,” I said, “though I pray I may be
wrong, that I was once the means of saving your life.”
He breathed unpleasantly through his right nostril.
“Very possibly,” he said. “But to what end? To the deliberate ruination
of the _A.D.S.U._ and all my prospects of marrying Miss Moonbeam.”
“But, my dear Ezekiel,” I began.
He interrupted me coldly.
“I must beg you in future,” he said, “to call me Mr. Stool.”
I stared at him.
“Call you Mr. Stool,” I gasped, “after all these years of impassioned
friendship?”
He waved his hand.
“I repudiate them,” he said. “I repudiate them in their entirety.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account