Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
General
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
“Yes, it’s his face,” said Mrs. Montgomery. “Isn’t it, dearie? It’s one
of those faces one wants to lean on.”
“Oh yes, yes,” she cried, “with all one’s weight. Couldn’t you bring it
round to-morrow after the matinée? And then very likely you’ll meet some
of my friends, and perhaps you’ll be able to remove us all.”
“But not before six,” I said, “or a quarter past.”
“That’ll do nicely,” she said. “There’s my call.”
Then she ran from the room, just as an electric bell began to sound in
the corner, and Mrs. Montgomery was kind enough to tell me the quickest
way to leave the theatre.
Unfortunately, however, she was either inaccurate, or by some odd chance
I failed to understand her, for a moment later I found myself on the
stage, just as the naval officer was about to embrace Miss Moonbeam. By
a curious coincidence, too, my appearance synchronized with the dramatic
utterance by Miss Moonbeam of the words, ‘Hush, Reginald, he comes,’
which added for the moment to my perplexity. For while it was possible
(and this proved to be the case) that the words bore reference to some
fellow-actor, it was also possible, I thought, that she might have been
informing him of my own presence in the theatre. Nor could I be certain
from the attitude of the audience, as it unanimously rose with roars of
applause, that my recent efforts to rescue their favourite might not
have become known to it and touched its heart. I conceived it my duty,
therefore, without prejudicing my position, to make a courteous bow or
two before retiring, and I took the opportunity of handing the naval
officer an illustrated copy of _Did Wycliffe Waltz?_
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER XVI
Disappointing attitude of Ezekiel. Suggested nuptials of Miss Moonbeam.
An occasion for tact and postponement. I am obliged to write a
letter. Ezekiel accompanies me to the Empresses Theatre. We are a
little taken back by the numbers to be rescued. An apparently
delightful beverage. I address Miss Moonbeam’s friends on the
subject of temperance. Ezekiel addresses them on the evils of the
drama. We arrange a meeting. Description of meeting.
AFTERWARDS, as I have suggested, I was to discover in Miss Moonbeam an
almost incredible capacity for evil. But that night, as I emerged from
the theatre into the anxious arms of Ezekiel Stool, I could not help
feeling in the utmost agreement with him as to her character and
physical appearance. Indeed so complete was my endorsement both of his
judgment and prevision that I must confess to having been a little
surprised by his reception of my news.
“So you’re meeting her again?” he said.
“Yes, to-morrow evening,” I replied, “when I hope to draw closer to her
in every way.”
He stopped abruptly and began to peer at me suspiciously through the
dense tangle that now covered his face.
“How do you mean closer?” he said.
I waved my hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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