'I cannot doubt,' he replied, 'that tomorrow will witness all that
report has already spread abroad as the purpose of Aurelian. Urged on by
both Fronto and Varus, he will not pause in his course. Rome, ere the
Ides, will swim in Christian blood. I see not whence deliverance is to
come. Miracle alone could save us; and miracle has long since ceased to
be the order of Providence. Having provided for us this immense
instrument of moral reform in the authority and doctrine of Christ, we
are now left, as doubtless it is on the whole best for our character and
our virtues we should be, to our own unassisted strength, to combat with
all the evils that may assail us, both from without and within. For
myself, I can meet this tempest without a thought of reluctance or
dread. I am a solitary man; having neither child nor relative to mourn
my loss; I have friends indeed, whom I love, and from whom I would not
willingly part; but, if any considerable purpose is to be gained by my
death to that cause for which I have lived, neither I nor they can
lament that it should occur. Under these convictions as to my own
fate--and that of all, must I say and believe? no; I cannot, will not,
believe that humanity has taken its final departure from the bosom of
Aurelian--I turn to one bright spot, and there my thoughts dwell, and
there my hopes gather strength, and that is here where you, Piso, and
you, lady, will still dwell, too high for the aim of the imperial
murderer to reach. Here I shall believe will there he an asylum for many
a wearied spirit, a safe refuge from the sharp pelting of the storm
without. And when a calm shall come again, from beneath this roof, as
once from the ark of God, shall there go forth those who shall again
people the waste-places of the church, and change the wilderness of
death into a fruitful garden full of the plants of Heaven.'
'That it is the present purpose of Aurelian to spare me,' I answered,
'whatever provocation I may give him, I fully believe. He is true; and
his word to that end, with no wish expressed on my part, has been given.
But do not suppose that in that direction at least he may not change his
purpose. Superstitiously mad as he now is, a mere plaything too in the
bloody hands of Fronto--and nothing can well be esteemed as more
insecure than even my life, privileged and secure as it may seem. If it
should occur to him, in his day or his night visions and dreams, that I,
more than others, should be an acceptable offering to his god, my life
would be to him but that of an insect buzzing around his ear; and being
dead by a blow, he would miss me no more. Still, let the mercy that is
vouchsafed, whether great or little, be gratefully confessed.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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