"I've told you what I think. He's heard you call me Nell. Tom, too,
called me Nell. That may have given him the hint. Then he simply opened
Iona Allen's letter and read it. Something was in it, no doubt, that
enabled him to put two and two together. Perhaps the name Bewick. Iona
would have heard of that. She would write to say now I'd climbed out of
poverty and hard work she knew I wouldn't mind lending a hand to an old
friend not so fortunate. Something like that. She'd be sure to whine and
beg. And Charlie Hunt, little bunch of meanness! would imagine he could
hold over me the fact that I was poor once and what he would think low
in the scale, because he thought I'd be ashamed of it. But no such
thing. If I changed my name coming here, it wasn't on any such account
as that. I'm gladder than ever now that I told Mrs. Foss all about it. I
did, Gerald, quite soon after we first came, and she said, though it was
in a way a mistake, she didn't see any real harm in it. As long as I'd
begun that way, she said, better not make a sensation by changing back
or saying anything about it. She thought my reasons were very natural.
It wasn't as if I were misleading anybody, or anybody were losing money
by me. I'd have told you too, Gerald, in a minute, as far as wanting
just to conceal anything goes. But Gerald and I"--she seemed to place
the matter before an invisible judge and jury--"never talk together of
ugly things, do we, Gerald? He's more delicate-minded by a good deal
than I am. With him particularly, though we've been such intimate
friends, I shrank from it. There's not much poetry about me, I know
that, but there'd be even less if I had to have it known all I've been
through. And since the first of our association we've always lived in a
sweet sort of world, haven't we, Gerald? I'd be ready, just the same, to
tell you the whole story any moment you wanted to hear...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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