How to paint her, as she stood thus valorously free to the raking
sunbeams that showed out the mild white bloom and roseleaf pink of her
long, full visage? She wore on her abundant fair hair a black lace
bonnet, trimmed with mauve flowers and a white aigrette, and the long
train of her white alpaca gown lay upon the grass like a queen's robe. I
remember my admiration of the thousand little flounces, black-edged,
that ran in shimmering lines up to her rounded waist. She was in half
mourning for my grandmother, whose existence I had forgotten all about,
and brave and becoming, it must be admitted, were those weeds of
mitigated grief. As I approached, she turned her fine and finished
visage, with the long delicate and cruel nostrils, and the thin
delicate red lips, to me, and her cold blue glance, falling upon my
anxious and distrustful face, turned my heart to stone. I felt as Amy
Robsart, my favourite heroine, must have felt when she encountered the
gaze of royal Elizabeth. Elizabeth, handsome, tall, and stately, with
long sloping shoulders and full bust, not the Elizabeth of history; an
Empress Eugenie without her feminine charm and grace, of the most
wonderful fairness I have ever seen, and also the most surprising
harshness of expression. I have all my life been hearing of my mother's
beauty, and have heard that when the Empress Eugenie's bust was exposed
at the Dublin Exhibition, the general cry was that my mother had been
the sculptor's model, so singular and striking was the resemblance
between these two women of Scottish blood. But then and then only, in
one brief flash, did I seize the insistent claim of that beauty always
closed to my hostile glance. Then and then only was I compelled, by the
sheer splendour of the vision, to own that the mother who did not love
me was the handsomest creature I had ever beheld.
The other episode connected with her visit that has stamped itself upon
memory is typical of her rare method of imparting knowledge to the
infant mind. We were driving in a fly through the rose-smelling country,
and it transpired, as we approached a railway station, that we were
going to visit Shakespeare's grave. "Who is Shakespeare?" I flippantly
asked, looking at my sister, who sat beside my mother.
Pif-paf! a blow on the ear sent sparks flying before my eyes, and rolled
my hat to the ground. Two years inhabiting a sacred county and not to
have heard of the poet's name! a child of hers, the most learned of
women, so ignorant and so unlettered! Thus was I made acquainted with
the name of Shakespeare, and with stinging cheek and humiliated and
stiffened little heart, is it surprising that I remember nothing else of
that visit to his tomb? Indeed it was part of my pride to look at
nothing, to note nothing, but walk about that day in full-eyed sullen
silence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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