What can it be that poetry says to children, since they can neither
understand the rhythm, nor metre, nor beauty, nor sentiment of it? And
the child who (as I was then) is susceptible to the charm of poetry that
sweeps through the infinite, weeps with delicious emotion without the
ghost of an idea why. I was but a child of nine, when my sister in
response to my prayer, with my cheek still stinging from that blow
along the Warwick road, opened the fairyland of Shakespeare to me. With
a rapture I would I now could feel, I thrilled to the glamour of the
moonlight scene of the "Merchant." We never went to bed without
rehearsing it, each in turn being Jessica or Lorenzo. I only remember
one other sensation as passionate and vivid and absorbing, my first
hearing of the Moonlight Sonata, also at an age when it was perfectly
impossible that I should understand more than a mouse or a linnet a
particle of its beauty or meaning. Yet there they stand out in
extraordinary relief from a confusion of childish impressions, two
distinct moments of inexplicable ecstasy, the reveries of Lorenzo and
Jessica and the impassioned utterance of the master's soul in the
divinest of sound played, possibly not well, by my eldest sister's
governess in a soft summer twilight so long ago.
Meanwhile I have left Mrs. Clement, excited and pathetic, holding my
thin little visage in the cup of her folded palms. She was just as faded
and fair and melancholy as ever, and the same young man's head showed in
the brooch frame on the unchanged black silk gown. She kissed me several
times, and stroked my hair, and expressed amazement at the change in
me. And while she, dear kindly soul, was only thinking of me, there was
I, volatile little rascal, looking around me, delighted to see again the
beautiful big red-and-white cups, and smell the spices of the cupboard.
Has tea, have bread-and-milk, ever tasted again as these modest luxuries
tasted in those beautiful cups? The very remembrance of them brings the
water of envy to the mouth of age. I forget the miseries of childhood
only to recall the pleasure I took in that warm and rich pottery, and
the brilliant effect of bowls and plates and cups upon the morning and
evening damask.
And that first night at home, four little girls sleeping together in two
large beds, three night-dressed forms perched on a single bed, while I,
the stranger returned from abroad, mimicked Mr. Parker for their
shrieking delight, and held my night-dress high up on either side to
perform the famous curtsey of Queen Anne. And then a furious shout
outside on the landing, and my mother's voice--
"What's the meaning of that noise? Go to sleep instantly, or I'll come
in and whip you all round."
A sudden scamper of white-robed limbs, and in a twinkling four heads
are hidden under the sheets. Silence down the corridors, silence
throughout the high old house; only the breathing of night, and four
little heads are again bobbing over the pillows.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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