Autobiography of a Pocket-HandkerchiefCooper, James Fenimore
General
Autobiography of a Pocket-Handkerchief
Cooper, James Fenimore
Fables; Handkerchiefs -- Fiction
"This is very extraordinary, Mr. Thurston," rejoined Julia, whose sense
of womanly propriety began to take the alarm; "and I must insist on an
explanation. Your language would seem to infer--really, I do not know,
what it does NOT seem to infer. Will you have the goodness to explain
what you mean by that 'yes?'"
"Simply, loveliest and most benign of your sex, that once already, in
answer to a demand of your hand, you deigned to reply with that
energetic and encouraging monosyllable, yes--dear and categorical
affirmative--" exclaimed Tom, going off again at half-cock, highly
impressed with the notion that rhapsody, instead of music, was the food
of love--"Yes, dear and categorical affirmative, with what ecstasy did
not my drowsy ears drink in the melodious sounds--what extravagance of
delight my throbbing heart echo its notes, on the wings of the unseen
winds--in short, what considerable satisfaction your consent gave my
pulsating mind!"
"Consent!--Consent is a strong WORD, Mr. Thurston!"
"It is, indeed, adorable Julia, and it is also a strong THING. I've
known terrible consequences arise from the denial of a consent, not
half as explicit as your own."
"Consequences!--may I ask, sir, to what consequences you allude?"
"The consequences, Miss Monson--that is, the consequences of a violated
troth, I mean--they may be divided into three parts--" here, Tom got
up, brushed his knees, each in succession, with his
pocket-handkerchief, and began to count on his fingers, like a lawyer
who is summing up an argument--"Yes, Miss Julia, into three parts.
First come the pangs of unrequited love; on these I propose to enlarge
presently. Next come the legal effects, always supposing that the
wronged party can summon heart enough to carry on a suit, with bruised
affections--" "hang it," thought Tom, "why did I not think of that word
'bruised' while on my knees; it would tell like a stiletto--" "Yes,
Miss Julia, if 'bruised affections' would permit the soul to descend to
such preliminaries. The last consequence is, the despair of hope
deferred."
"All this is so extraordinary, Mr. Thurston, that I insist on knowing
why you have presumed to address such language to me--yes, sir, INSIST
on knowing your reason."
Tom was dumbfounded. Now, that he was up, and looking about him, he had
an opportunity of perceiving that his mistress was offended, and that
he had somewhat overdone the sublime, poetical and affecting. With a
sudden revulsion of feeling and tactics, he determined to throw
himself, at once, into the penitent and candid.
"Ah, Miss Monson," he cried, somewhat more naturally--"I see I have
offended and alarmed you. But, impute it all to love. The strength of
my passion is such, that I became desperate, and was resolved to try
any expedient that I thought might lead to success."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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