Autobiography of a Pocket-HandkerchiefCooper, James Fenimore
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Autobiography of a Pocket-Handkerchief
Cooper, James Fenimore
Fables; Handkerchiefs -- Fiction
Accustomed to think of marrying as his means of advancement, he
somewhat reasonably supposed "refer you to my father" meant consent, so
far as the young lady was concerned, and he determined to improve the
precious moments. Fortunately for his ideas, Mr. Monson did not enter
the room immediately, which allowed the gentleman an opportunity for a
little deliberation. As usual, his thoughts took the direction of a
mental soliloquy, much in the following form.
"This is getting on famously," thought Tom. "Refer you to my
father--well, that is compact and comprehensive, at the same time. I
wish her dandruff had got up when I mentioned only $50,000. Seriously,
that is but a small sum to make one's way on. If I had a footing of my
own, in society, $50,000 MIGHT do; but, when a fellow has to work his
way by means of dinners, horses, and et ceteras, it's a small
allowance. It's true, the Monsons will give me connections, and
connections are almost--not quite--as good as money to get a chap along
with--but, the d--l of the matter is, that connections eat and drink. I
dare say the Monson set will cost me a good $500 a year, though they
will save something in the way of the feed they must give in their
turns. I wish I had tried her with a higher figure, for, after all, it
may have been only modesty--some women are as modest as the d--l. But
here comes old Monson, and I must strike while the iron is hot."
{dandruff = dander--but while "dander" can mean dandruff as well as
temper, the reverse is not true}
"Good morning, Mr. Thurston," said the father, looking a little
surprised at seeing such a guest at three o'clock. "What, alone with my
daughter's fine pocket-handkerchief? You must find that indifferent
company."
"Not under the circumstances, sir. Every thing is agreeable to us that
belongs to an object we love."
"Love? That is a strong term, Mr. Thurston--one that I hope you have
uttered in pure gallantry."
"Not at all, sir," cried Tom, falling on his knees, as a school boy
reads the wrong paragraph in the confusion of not having studied his
lesson well--"adorable and angelic--I beg your pardon, Mr.
Monson,"--rising, and again brushing his knees with some care--"my mind
is in such a state of confusion, that I scarcely know what I say."
"Really, I should think so, or you could never mistake me for a young
girl of twenty. Will you have the goodness to explain this matter to
me?"
"Yes, sir--I'm referred."
"Referred? Pray, what may that mean in particular?"
"Only, sir, that I'm referred--I do not ask a dollar, sir. Her lovely
mind and amiable person are all I seek, and I only regret that she is
so rich. I should be the happiest fellow in the world, Mr. Monson, if
the angelic Julia had not a cent."
"The angelic Julia must be infinitely indebted to you, Mr. Thurston;
but let us take up this affair in order. What am I to understand, sir,
by your being referred?"
"That Miss Julia, in answer to my suit, has referred me to you, sir."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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