Autobiography of Andrew Dickson White — Volume 1White, Andrew Dickson
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Autobiography of Andrew Dickson White — Volume 1
White, Andrew Dickson
Cornell University; Diplomats -- United States -- Biography; White, Andrew Dickson, 1832-1918
A. I mean persons who doctor themselves.
After other answers of a similar sort the witness
departed; but for some days afterward Judge Whiting
edified the court, in his examination of Boole's health
officers and inspectors, by finally asking each one whether
he had any ``highjinnicks'' in his health district. Some
answered that they had them somewhat; some thought
that they had them ``pretty bad,'' others thought that
there was ``not much of it,'' others claimed that they
were ``quite serious''; and, finally, in the examination of
a certain health officer who was very anxious to show that
he had done his best, there occurred the following dialogue
which brought down the house:
Q. (By Judge Whiting.) Mr. Health Officer, have you
had any ``highjinnicks'' in your district?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. Much?
A. Yes, sir, quite a good deal.
Q. Have you done anything in regard to them?
A. Yes, sir; I have done all that I could.
Q. Witness, now, on your oath, do you know what the
word ``highjinnicks'' means?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. What does it mean?
A. It means the bad smells that arise from standing
water.
At this the court was dissolved in laughter, but Mr.
Graham made the best that he could of it by the following
questions and answers:
Q. Witness, have you ever learned Greek?
A. No, sir.
Q. Can you speak Greek?
A. No, sir.
Q. Do you understand Greek?
A. No, sir.
``Then you may stand down.''
The examination was long and complicated, so that
with various departments to be examined there was no
time to make a report before the close of the session, and
the whole matter had to go over until the newly elected
senate came into office the following year.
Shortly after the legislature had adjourned I visited
the city of New York, and on arriving took up the evening
paper which, more than any other, has always been supposed to
represent the best sentiment of the city;--the
``New York Evening Post.'' The first article on which my
eye fell was entitled ``The New York Senate Trifling,''
and the article went on to say that the Senate of the
State had wasted its time, had practically done nothing
for the city, had neglected its interests, had paid no
attention to its demands, and the like. That struck me
as ungrateful, for during the whole session we had
worked early and late on questions relating to the city,
had thwarted scores of evil schemes, and in some cases,
I fear, had sacrificed the interests of the State at large
to those of the city. Thus there dawned on me a knowledge
of the reward which faithful legislators are likely
to obtain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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