Antislavery movements -- United States; Slavery -- United States
“This circumstance was fatal to my project, for in losing my star, I
lost my way; so when I supposed I was far towards the North, and had
almost gained my freedom, I discovered myself at the very point from
which I had started. It was a severe trial, for I arrived at home in
great destitution; my feet were sore, and in travelling in the dark,
I had dashed my foot against a stump, and started a nail, and lamed
myself. I was wet and cold; one week had exhausted all my stores; and
when I landed on my master’s plantation, with all my work to do over
again,--hungry, tired, lame, and bewildered,--I almost cursed the day
that I was born. In this extremity I approached the quarters. I did
so stealthily, although in my desperation I hardly cared whether I
was discovered or not. Peeping through the rents of the quarters, I
saw my fellow-slaves seated by a warm fire, merrily passing away the
time, as though their hearts knew no sorrow. Although I envied their
seeming contentment, all wretched as I was, I despised the cowardly
acquiescence in their own degradation which it implied, and felt a
kind of pride and glory in my own desperate lot. I dared not enter the
quarters,--for where there is seeming contentment with slavery, there
is certain treachery to freedom. I proceeded towards the great house,
in the hope of catching a glimpse of my poor wife, whom I knew might
be trusted with my secrets even on the scaffold. Just as I reached
the fence which divided the field from the garden, I saw a woman in
the yard, who in the darkness I took to be my wife; but a nearer
approach told me it was not she. I was about to speak; had I done so,
I would not have been here this night; for an alarm would have been
sounded, and the hunters been put on my track. Here were hunger, cold,
thirst, disappointment, and chagrin, confronted only by the dim hope
of liberty. I tremble to think of that dreadful hour. To face the
deadly cannon’s mouth in warm blood unterrified, is, I think, a small
achievement, compared with a conflict like this with gaunt starvation.
The gnawings of hunger conquers by degrees, till all that a man has he
would give in exchange for a single crust of bread. Thank God, I was
not quite reduced to this extremity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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