Autumnal leaves: tales and sketches in prose and rhymeChild, Lydia Maria
General
Autumnal leaves: tales and sketches in prose and rhyme
Child, Lydia Maria
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
At last the housekeeper came in; a woman whom Pierre had known and loved
in boyhood. When her first surprise was over, she promised to conceal
his arrival, and persuaded him to go to the garret and try to compose
his too strongly excited feelings. In the course of the day she
explained to him how Florien had died of his wound, and how Rosabella
pined away in silent melancholy, often sitting at the spinning wheel
with the suspended thread in her hand, as if unconscious where she was.
During all that wretched night the young man could not close his eyes in
sleep. Phantoms of the past flitted through his brain, and remorse
gnawed at his heart-strings. In the deep stillness of midnight, he
seemed to hear the voice of the bereaved old man sounding mournfully
distinct, “I shall never see her again!” He prayed earnestly to die; but
suddenly an idea flashed into his mind, and revived his desire to live.
Full of his new project, he rose early and sought his good old master.
Sinking on his knees he exclaimed, “Oh, my father, say that you forgive
me! I implore you to give my guilty soul that one gleam of consolation.
Believe me, I would sooner have died myself, than have killed him. But
my passions were by nature so strong! Oh, God forgive me, they were _so_
strong! How I have curbed them, He alone knows. Alas, that they should
have burst the bounds in that one mad moment, and destroyed the two I
best loved on earth. Oh, father, _can_ you say that you forgive me?”
With quivering voice he replied, “I do forgive you, and bless you, my
poor son.” He laid his hand affectionately on the thick matted hair, and
added, “I too have need of forgiveness. I did very wrong thus to put two
generous natures in rivalship with each other. A genuine love of beauty,
for its own sake, is the only healthy stimulus to produce the beautiful.
The spirit of competition took you out of your sphere, and placed you in
a false position. In grand conceptions, and in works of durability and
strength, you would always have excelled Florien, as much as he
surpassed you in tastefulness and elegance. By striving to be what he
was, you parted with your own gifts, without attaining to his. Every man
in the natural sphere of his own talent, and all in harmony; this is the
true order, my son; and I tempted you to violate it. In my foolish
pride, I earnestly desired to have a world-renowned successor to the
famous Antoine Breguet. I wanted that the old stand should be kept up in
all its glory, and continue to rival all competitors. I thought you
could super-add Florien’s gifts to your own, and yet retain your own
characteristic excellencies. Therefore, I stimulated your intellect and
imagination to the utmost, without reflecting that your heart might
break in the process. God forgive me; it was too severe a trial for poor
human nature. And do thou, my son, forgive this insane ambition; for
severely has my pride been humbled.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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