I consented to accompany her; but on reaching the door, she began to
urge me to go in, saying I should not be known to the rest of the
family, but might stay there in perfect privacy. I was resolved not to
comply with this request, and resisted all her entreaties, though she
continued to urge me for a long time, perhaps half an hour. At length
she went in, and I walked away, in a state no less desperate than
before. Indeed, night was now approaching, the rain continued, and I
had no prospect of food, rest, or even shelter. I went on till I
reached the parade-ground, unnoticed, I believe, by anybody, except one
man, who asked where I was going, but to whom I gave no answer. I had
told my mother, before she had left me, that she might find me in the
parade-ground. There I stopped in a part of the open ground where there
was no probability of my being observed, and stood thinking of the many
distressing things which harassed me; suffering, indeed, from exposure
to wet and cold, but indifferent to them as evils of mere trifling
importance, and expecting that death would soon ease me of my present
sufferings. I had hoped that my mother would bring my babe to me there;
but as it was growing late, I gave up all expectation of seeing her.
At length she came, accompanied by Mr. Hoyt, who, as I afterward
learnt, had called on her after my leaving the hotel, and, at her
request, had intrusted my child to her care. Calling again after I had
left her house, she had informed him that she now knew where I was, and
consented to lead him to the spot. I was hardly able to speak or to
walk, in consequence of the hardships I had undergone; but being taken
to a small inn, and put under the care of several women, I was made
comfortable with a change of clothes and a warm bed. [Footnote: I
afterward learnt, that the two gentlemen who accompanied me from the
States, had been seeking me with great anxiety all day. I persisted in
not going to my mother's, and that was the reason why we applied to
strangers for a lodging. For some time it appeared doubtful whether I
should find any refuge for the night, as several small inns in the
neighbourhood proved to be full. At length, however, lodgings were
obtained for me in one, and I experienced kindness from the females of
the house, who put me into a warm bed, and by careful treatment soon
rendered me more comfortable. I thought I heard the voice of a woman,
in the course of the evening, whom I had seen about the nunnery, and
ascertained that I was not mistaken. I forgot to mention, that, while
preparing to leave this house the next day, Mrs. Tarbert came in and
spoke with me. She said, that she had just come from the
government-house, and asked, "What are all those men at your mother's
for? what is going on there?" I told her I could not tell. She said,
"Your mother wants to speak with you very much." I told her I would not
go to her house, for I feared there was some plan to get me into the
hands of the priests.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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