Whenever I was shut in that room, as I was several times, I prayed for
"les âmes des fidèles trépassés:" the souls of those faithful ones who
have long been in purgatory, and have no relations living to pray for
them.
My feelings were often of the most painful description, while I
remained alone with those frightful pictures.
Jane Ray was once put in, and uttered the most dreadful shrieks. Some
of the old nuns proposed to the Superior to have her gagged: "No" she
replied; "go and let out that devil, she makes me sin more than all the
rest."
Jane could not endure the place; and she afterward gave names to many
of the worst figures in the pictures. On catechism-days she would take
a seat behind a cupboard-door, where the priest could not see her,
while she faced the nuns, and would make us laugh. "You are not so
attentive to your lesson as you used to be," he would begin to say,
while we were endeavouring to suppress our laughter.
Jane would then hold up the first letter of some priest's name, whom
she had before compared with one of the faces in "hell," and look so
that we could hardly preserve our gravity. I remember she named the
wretch who was biting at the bars of hell, with a serpent gnawing his
head, with chains and padlocks on, Father Dufresne; and she would
say--"Does not he look like him, when he comes in to Catechism with his
long solemn face, and begins his speeches with, 'My children, my hope
is, you have lived very devout lives?'"
The first time I went to confession after taking the veil, I found
abundant evidence that the priests did not treat even that ceremony,
which is called a solemn sacrament, with respect enough to lay aside
the detestable and shameless character they so often showed on other
occasions. The confessor sometimes sat in the room of examination of
conscience, and sometimes in the Superior's room, and always alone,
except the nun who was confessing. He had a common chair placed in the
middle of the floor, and instead of being placed behind a grate, or
lattice, as in the chapel, had nothing before or around him. There were
no spectators to observe him, and of course any such thing would have
been unnecessary.
A number of nuns usually confessed on the same day, but only one could
be admitted into the room at the time. They took their places just
without the door, on their knees, and went through the preparation
prescribed by the rules of confession; repeating certain prayers, which
always occupy a considerable time. When one was ready, she rose from
her knees, entered, and closed the door behind her; and no other one
even dared touch the latch until she came out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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