Courtship -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
When she was alone she discussed the matter with herself. It was
repugnant to her that there should be any secret on the subject
between herself and her aunt after what had been said,--much more
that there should be any deceit. "Mr. Hamel is not fit to be
acquainted with a lady who occupies the position of my daughter." It
was thus that her aunt had spoken. To this the proper answer seemed
to be,--seemed at least to Lucy,--"In that case, my dear aunt, I
cannot for a moment longer occupy the position of your daughter,
as I certainly am acquainted and shall remain acquainted with Mr.
Hamel." But to such speech as this on her own part there were two
impediments. In the first place it would imply that Mr. Hamel was her
lover,--for implying which Mr. Hamel had given her no authority; and
then what should she immediately do when she had thus obstinately
declared herself to be unfit for that daughter's position which she
was supposed now to occupy? With all her firmness of determination
she could not bring herself to tell her aunt that Mr. Hamel was her
lover. Not because it was not as yet true. She would have been quite
willing that her aunt should know the exact truth, if the exact
truth could be explained. But how could she convey to such a one
as Aunt Emmeline the meaning of those words,--"Am I to lose you
again?" How could she make her aunt understand that she held herself
to be absolutely bound, as by a marriage vow, by such words as
those,--words in which there was no promise, even had they come from
some fitting suitor, but which would be regarded by Aunt Emmeline
as being simply impertinent coming as they did from such a one as
Isadore Hamel. It was quite out of the question to tell all that to
Aunt Emmeline, but yet it was necessary that something should be
told. She had been ordered to drop her acquaintance with Isadore, and
it was essential that she should declare that she would do nothing
of the kind. She would not recognise such obedience as a duty on her
part. The friendship had been created by her father, to whom her
earlier obedience had been due. It might be that, refusing to render
such obedience, her aunt and her uncle might tell her that there
could be no longer shelter for her in that house. They could not
cherish and foster a disobedient child. If it must be so, it must.
Though there should be no home left to her in all the wide world she
would not accept an order which should separate her from the man
she loved. She must simply tell her aunt that she could not drop Mr.
Hamel's acquaintance,--because Mr. Hamel was a friend.
Early on the next morning she did so. "Are you aware," said Aunt
Emmeline, with a severe face, "that he is--illegitimate." Lucy
blushed, but made no answer. "Is he--is he--engaged to you?"
"No," said Lucy, sharply.
"Has he asked you to marry him?"
"No," said Lucy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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