'I mean that it will save you from the mischief of these alternations
between hope and despair. You will remember that it was I who saw her
in her first seizure and told you of it. Such a seizure having lasted
so long, nothing could have given her relief but death or magnetic
transmission of the seizure. It is a grievous case, but what concerns
me now is the condition into which you yourself have passed. Nothing
but a successful effort on your part to relieve your mind from the
dominant idea that has disturbed it can save you from--from--'
'From what?'
'That drug of yours is the most dangerous narcotic of all. Increase
your doses by a few more grains and you will lose all command over
your nervous system--all presence of mind. Give it up, give it up and
enter Parliament.'
I left Mivart in anger, and took a stroll through the streets, trying
to amuse myself by looking at the shop windows and recalling the few
salient incidents that were connected with my brief experiences as an
art student.
Hours passed in this way, until one by one the shops were closed and
only the theatres, public bars, and supper-rooms seemed to be open.
I turned into a restaurant in the Haymarket, for I had taken no
dinner. I went upstairs into a supper-room, and after I had finished
my meal, taking a seat near the window, I gazed abstractedly over
the bustling, flashing streets, which to me seemed far more lonely,
far more remote, than the most secluded paths of Snowdon. In a
trouble such as mine it is not Man but Nature that can give
companionship.
I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I did not observe whether
I was or was not now alone in the room, till the name of Wilderspin
fell on my ear and recalled me to myself. I started and looked round.
At a table near me sat two men whom I had not noticed before. The
face of the man who sat on the opposite side of the table confronted
me.
If I had one tithe of that objective power and that instinct for
description which used to amaze me in Winifred as a child, I could
give here a picture of a face which the reader could never forget.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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