pictur." "Oh," sez I, "you wants to paint her portrait 'cause she's
such a pootty gal, an' then you wants to make believe you drawed it
out of your own 'ead, an' sell it," sez I. "Oh, but you're a downy
one, you are, an' no mistake," sez I. "But I likes you none the wuss
for that. I likes a downy chap, an' I don't see no objection to that;
but how much will you give to paint my pootty darter?" sez I. "P'raps
I'd better come in," sez he. "P'raps you 'ad, if we're a-comin' to
bisniss," sez I; "so jest make a long leg an' step over them
dirty-nosed child'n o' Mrs. Mix's, a-settin' on my doorstep, an' I
dessay we sha'n't quarrel over a 'undud p'un' or two," sez I. An'
then I bust out a-larfin' agin--I shall die a-larfin'.' And then she
added suddenly in the same tone of sadness, 'if I don't die
a-cryin'.'
'Really, mother,' said Cyril, 'it is very egotistical of you to
interrupt your story with prophecies about the mood in which you will
probably shuffle off the Gudgeon coil and take to Gudgeon wings. It
is the shiny Quaker we want to know about.'
'And then the shiny Quaker comes in,' said the woman, 'and I shets
the door, being be'ind 'im, and that skears _'im_ for a moment, till
I bust out a-larfin': "Oh, you needn't be afeard," sez I;--"when we
burgles a Quaker in Primrose Court we never minces 'im for
sossingers, 'e's so 'ily in 'is flavour." Well, sir, to cut a long
story short, I agrees to take my pootty darter to the Quaker gent's
studero; an' I takes 'er nex' day, an' 'e puts her in a pictur. But
afore long,' continued the old woman, leering round at Cyril, 'lo!
and behold, a young swell, p'raps a young lord in disguise (I don't
want to be pussonal, an' so I sha'n't tell his name), 'e comes into
that studero one day when I was a-settlin' up with the Quaker gent
for the week's pay, an' he sets an' admires me, till I sets an'
blushes as I'm a-blushin' at this werry moment; an' when I gits 'ome,
I sez to Polly Onion (that's a pal o' mine as lives on the ground
floor), I sez, "Poll, bring my best lookin'-glass out o' my bowdore,
an' let's have a look at my old chops, for I'm blowed if there ain't
a young swell, p'raps a young lord in disguise, as 'ez fell 'ead over
ears in love with me." And sure enough when I goes back to the
studero the werry nex' time, my young swell 'e sez to me, "It's your
own pootty face as I wants for _my_ moral. I dessay your darter's a
stunner--I ain't seen her yit--but she cain't be nothin' to you." And
I sez to 'im, "In course she ain't, for she takes arter her father's
family, pore gal, and werry sorry she is for it."'
At this moment a servant entered and said Mr. Wilderspin was waiting
in the hall.
All hope having now fled of my getting a private word
with Cyril that afternoon, I was preparing to slip I away; but he
would not let me go.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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