“‘I have never yet toured Europe--and as a matter of fact, I don’t know
that I care to such an awful lot, as long as there’s our own mighty
cities and mountains to be seen--but, the way I figure it out, there
must be a good many of our own sort of folks abroad. Indeed, one of the
most enthusiastic Rotarians I ever met boosted the tenets of
one-hundred-per-cent pep in a burr that smacked o’ bonny Scutlond and
all ye bonny braes o’ Bobby Burns. But same time, one thing that
distinguishes us from our good brothers, the hustlers over there, is
that they’re willing to take a lot off the snobs and journalists and
politicians, while the modern American business man knows how to talk
right up for himself, knows how to make it good and plenty clear that he
intends to run the works. He doesn’t have to call in some highbrow
hired-man when it’s necessary for him to answer the crooked critics of
the sane and efficient life. He’s not dumb, like the old-fashioned
merchant. He’s got a vocabulary and a punch.
“‘With all modesty, I want to stand up here as a representative business
man and gently whisper, “Here’s our kind of folks! Here’s the
specifications of the Standardized American Citizen! Here’s the new
generation of Americans: fellows with hair on their chests and smiles in
their eyes and adding-machines in their offices. We’re not doing any
boasting, but we like ourselves first-rate, and if you don’t like us,
look out--better get under cover before the cyclone hits town!”
“‘So! In my clumsy way I have tried to sketch the Real He-man, the
fellow with Zip and Bang. And it’s because Zenith has so large a
proportion of such men that it’s the most stable, the greatest of our
cities. New York also has its thousands of Real Folks, but New York is
cursed with unnumbered foreigners. So are Chicago and San Francisco. Oh,
we have a golden roster of cities--Detroit and Cleveland with their
renowned factories, Cincinnati with its great machine-tool and soap
products, Pittsburg and Birmingham with their steel, Kansas City and
Minneapolis and Omaha that open their bountiful gates on the bosom of
the ocean-like wheatlands, and countless other magnificent
sister-cities, for, by the last census, there were no less than
sixty-eight glorious American burgs with a population of over one
hundred thousand! And all these cities stand together for power and
purity, and against foreign ideas and communism--Atlanta with Hartford,
Rochester with Denver, Milwaukee with Indianapolis, Los Angeles with
Scranton, Portland, Maine, with Portland, Oregon. A good live wire from
Baltimore or Seattle or Duluth is the twin-brother of every like fellow
booster from Buffalo or Akron, Fort Worth or Oskaloosa!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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