The Sunday School adopted Babbitt’s system of military ranks. Quickened
by this spiritual refreshment, it had a boom. It did not become the
largest school in Zenith--the Central Methodist Church kept ahead of it
by methods which Dr. Drew scored as “unfair, undignified, un-American,
ungentlemanly, and unchristian”--but it climbed from fourth place to
second, and there was rejoicing in heaven, or at least in that portion
of heaven included in the parsonage of Dr. Drew, while Babbitt had much
praise and good repute.
He had received the rank of colonel on the general staff of the school.
He was plumply pleased by salutes on the street from unknown small boys;
his ears were tickled to ruddy ecstasy by hearing himself called
“Colonel;” and if he did not attend Sunday School merely to be thus
exalted, certainly he thought about it all the way there.
He was particularly pleasant to the press-agent, Kenneth Escott; he took
him to lunch at the Athletic Club and had him at the house for dinner.
Like many of the cocksure young men who forage about cities in apparent
contentment and who express their cynicism in supercilious slang, Escott
was shy and lonely. His shrewd starveling face broadened with joy at
dinner, and he blurted, “Gee whillikins, Mrs. Babbitt, if you knew how
good it is to have home eats again!”
Escott and Verona liked each other. All evening they “talked about
ideas.” They discovered that they were Radicals. True, they were
sensible about it. They agreed that all communists were criminals; that
this _vers libre_ was tommyrot; and that while there ought to be
universal disarmament, of course Great Britain and the United States
must, on behalf of oppressed small nations, keep a navy equal to the
tonnage of all the rest of the world. But they were so revolutionary
that they predicted (to Babbitt’s irritation) that there would some day
be a Third Party which would give trouble to the Republicans and
Democrats.
Escott shook hands with Babbitt three times, at parting.
Babbitt mentioned his extreme fondness for Eathorne.
Within a week three newspapers presented accounts of Babbitt’s sterling
labors for religion, and all of them tactfully mentioned William
Washington Eathorne as his collaborator.
Nothing had brought Babbitt quite so much credit at the Elks, the
Athletic Club, and the Boosters’. His friends had always congratulated
him on his oratory, but in their praise was doubt, for even in speeches
advertising the city there was something highbrow and degenerate, like
writing poetry. But now Orville Jones shouted across the Athletic
dining-room, “Here’s the new director of the First State Bank!” Grover
Butterbaugh, the eminent wholesaler of plumbers’ supplies, chuckled,
“Wonder you mix with common folks, after holding Eathorne’s hand!” And
Emil Wengert, the jeweler, was at last willing to discuss buying a house
in Dorchester.
IV
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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