“Hurray! That’s the way to talk! Look here: There’s some folks coming to
the house to-night, Louetta Swanson and some other live ones, and I’m
going to open up a bottle of pre-war gin, and maybe we’ll dance a while.
Why don’t you drop in and jazz it up a little, just for a change?”
“Well-- What time they coming?”
He was at Sam Doppelbrau’s at nine. It was the third time he had entered
the house. By ten he was calling Mr. Doppelbrau “Sam, old hoss.”
At eleven they all drove out to the Old Farm Inn. Babbitt sat in the
back of Doppelbrau’s car with Louetta Swanson. Once he had timorously
tried to make love to her. Now he did not try; he merely made love; and
Louetta dropped her head on his shoulder, told him what a nagger Eddie
was, and accepted Babbitt as a decent and well-trained libertine.
With the assistance of Tanis’s Bunch, the Doppelbraus, and other
companions in forgetfulness, there was not an evening for two weeks when
he did not return home late and shaky. With his other faculties blurred
he yet had the motorist’s gift of being able to drive when he could
scarce walk; of slowing down at corners and allowing for approaching
cars. He came wambling into the house. If Verona and Kenneth Escott were
about, he got past them with a hasty greeting, horribly aware of their
level young glances, and hid himself up-stairs. He found when he came
into the warm house that he was hazier than he had believed. His head
whirled. He dared not lie down. He tried to soak out the alcohol in a
hot bath. For the moment his head was clearer but when he moved about
the bathroom his calculations of distance were wrong, so that he dragged
down the towels, and knocked over the soap-dish with a clatter which, he
feared, would betray him to the children. Chilly in his dressing-gown he
tried to read the evening paper. He could follow every word; he seemed
to take in the sense of things; but a minute afterward he could not have
told what he had been reading. When he went to bed his brain flew in
circles, and he hastily sat up, struggling for self-control. At last he
was able to lie still, feeling only a little sick and dizzy--and
enormously ashamed. To hide his “condition” from his own children! To
have danced and shouted with people whom he despised! To have said
foolish things, sung idiotic songs, tried to kiss silly girls!
Incredulously he remembered that he had by his roaring familiarity with
them laid himself open to the patronizing of youths whom he would have
kicked out of his office; that by dancing too ardently he had exposed
himself to rebukes from the rattiest of withering women. As it came
relentlessly back to him he snarled, “I hate myself! God how I hate
myself!” But, he raged, “I’m through! No more! Had enough, plenty!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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