Through all his fear ran defiance. He felt stubborn. Sometimes he
decided that he had been a very devil of a fellow, as bold as Seneca
Doane; sometimes he planned to call on Doane and tell him what a
revolutionist he was, and never got beyond the planning. But just as
often, when he heard the soft whispers enveloping him he wailed, “Good
Lord, what have I done? Just played with the Bunch, and called down
Clarence Drum about being such a high-and-mighty sodger. Never catch
_me_ criticizing people and trying to make them accept _my_ ideas!”
He could not stand the strain. Before long he admitted that he would
like to flee back to the security of conformity, provided there was a
decent and creditable way to return. But, stubbornly, he would not be
forced back; he would not, he swore, “eat dirt.”
Only in spirited engagements with his wife did these turbulent fears
rise to the surface. She complained that he seemed nervous, that she
couldn’t understand why he did not want to “drop in at the
Littlefields’” for the evening. He tried, but he could not express to
her the nebulous facts of his rebellion and punishment. And, with Paul
and Tanis lost, he had no one to whom he could talk. “Good Lord, Tinka
is the only real friend I have, these days,” he sighed, and he clung to
the child, played floor-games with her all evening.
He considered going to see Paul in prison, but, though he had a pale
curt note from him every week, he thought of Paul as dead. It was Tanis
for whom he was longing.
“I thought I was so smart and independent, cutting Tanis out, and I need
her, Lord how I need her!” he raged. “Myra simply can’t understand. All
she sees in life is getting along by being just like other folks. But
Tanis, she’d tell me I was all right.”
Then he broke, and one evening, late, he did run to Tanis. He had not
dared to hope for it, but she was in, and alone. Only she wasn’t Tanis.
She was a courteous, brow-lifting, ice-armored woman who looked like
Tanis. She said, “Yes, George, what is it?” in even and uninterested
tones, and he crept away, whipped.
His first comfort was from Ted and Eunice Littlefield.
They danced in one evening when Ted was home from the university, and
Ted chuckled, “What’s this I hear from Euny, dad? She says her dad says
you raised Cain by boosting old Seneca Doane. Hot dog! Give ’em fits!
Stir ’em up! This old burg is asleep!” Eunice plumped down on Babbitt’s
lap, kissed him, nestled her bobbed hair against his chin, and crowed,
“I think you’re lots nicer than Howard. Why is it,” confidentially,
“that Howard is such an old grouch? The man has a good heart, and
honestly, he’s awfully bright, but he never will learn to step on the
gas, after all the training I’ve given him. Don’t you think we could do
something with him, dearest?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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