_Mr Justice Honeygall._ One moment, Mr JABBERJEE, I am always reluctant to interfere with Counsel, but it may save my time and that of the jury if I remind you that the illustration you propose to give us is hardly as happy as it might be. The head and front of OTHELLO'S offending, unless I am mistaken, was that he had married the lady of his affections, whereas in _your_ case---- _Jab._ (_plaintively_). Your lordship, it is not humanly possible that I can exhibit even ordinary eloquence if I am to be interrupted by far-fetched and frivolous objections. The story of OTHELLO---- _Mr Justice H._ What the jury want to hear is not OTHELLO'S story, but yours, Sir, and your proper course is to go into the witness-box at once, and give your version of the facts as simply and straightforwardly as you can. When you have given your own evidence and called any witnesses you may wish to call, you will have an opportunity of addressing the jury, and exhibiting the eloquence on which you apparently place so much reliance. [_Here poor old ~JAB~ bundles off to the witness-box, and takes some outlandish oath or other with immense gusto, after which he starts telling the Jury a long rambling rigmarole, and is awfully riled when the old Judge pulls him up, which he does about every other minute. This is the sort of thing that goes on:--_ _Jab._ At this, Misters of the Jury, I, being but a pusillanimous and no Leviathan of valour---- _The Judge._ Not so fast, Sir, not so fast. Follow my pen. I've not got down half what you said before that. (_Reads laboriously from his notes._) "In panicstricken apprehension of being severely assaulted _à posteriori_." Who do you say threatened to assault you in that manner--the plaintiff's mother? _Jab._ I have already had the honour to inform your lordship that I was utterly intimidated by the savage threats of the plaintiff's mother that, unless I consented to become the betrothed, she would summon certain able-bodied athletic boarders to batter and kick my unprotected person, and consequently, not being a Leviathan---- _The Judge._ No one has ever suggested that you are an animal of that description, Sir. Have the goodness to keep to the point. (_Reads as he writes._) "I was so intimidated by threats of plaintiff's mother that she would have me severely kicked by third parties if I refused, that I consented to become engaged to plaintiff." Is _that_ what you say? _Jab._ (_beaming_). Your lordship's acute intellect has comprehended my _pons asinorum_ with great intelligence. _The Judge_ (_looking at him under his spectacles_). Umph! Well, go on. What next?