_Bab. J._ I am highly satisfied by your lordship's _obiter dictum_. Not
being in such a coign of vantage as your honour's excellency, I was
misled by the propinquity of heads viewed from the rear. Now, before
again becoming a sedentary, I am to propose a decisive test of
plaintiff's _bona fides_ in desiring my insignificant self as a spouse.
Herewith I beg humbly to have the honour of renewing my formal proposal
of marriage, and moreover will pledge myself in most solemn and
business-like style never on any account, whether so permitted by laws
of country or _vice versâ_, to take to myself a single additional native
wife in her lifetime. This handsome offer is genuine and without
prejudice, and I will take leave to remind plaintiff, in the terms of a
rather musty adage, that she is not too closely to inspect the mouth of
such a gifted horse as myself. (_Great laughter, and some sensation in
Court as ~JABBERJEE~ sits down._)
_Witherington, Q.C._ Your lordship will see that this--ah--rather
unforeseen development renders it necessary that I should ascertain the
plaintiff's views before proceeding to reply. (_The Judge nods:
breathless excitement in Court while the plaintiff's solicitor carries
on an animated conversation with ~Mr W.~ in undertones._)
_Witherington_ (_rising once more_). Gentlemen, I have, as it was my
duty to do, consulted the plaintiff respecting the unusual course which
the defendant has thought proper to take. Her answer to his proposal is
the answer which I am sure you will feel is the only possible one in the
circumstances. (_~JAB.~ beams._) The plaintiff, gentlemen, has undergone
the severest ordeal a young woman of delicacy and refinement can be
called upon to endure (_"Hear, hear!" from ~JAB.~_), and out of that
ordeal I think you will all agree she has come absolutely unscathed.
I need hardly say that she is incapable now of harbouring any unworthy
sentiments of rancour or revenge. (_~JAB.~ beams more effulgently
still._)
_But_, gentlemen, there are some injuries which, as you know, a woman
may find herself able to excuse, to palliate, even to condone; but which
she feels nevertheless must operate as an insuperable and impassable
barrier between herself and the individual who could be capable of them!
(_~JAB.'S~ smile becomes a trifle less assured._)
[Illustration: "JABBERJEE'S FACE GRADUALLY LENGTHENS."]
After the disgraceful and unmanly attempts the defendant has made to
evade his obligations; his disingenuous defences; his insulting
innuendoes; after the deplorable exhibition he has made of himself in
that box; and especially after the sombre picture he himself has
painted of the domestic future he has to offer; after all this, I ask
you, gentlemen, is it likely, is it possible, is it even conceivable
that the plaintiff can retain any respect or affection for him, or have
sufficient courage and confidence to entrust her happiness to such
hands? (_~JAB.'S~ face gradually lengthens._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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