"But, oh, my King! to thee I now reveal A secret that my heart would yet conceal, To thee, my friend, two visions I reveal: The first I oft have dreamed beneath some spell Of night, when I enwrapped from all the world, With Self alone communed. Unconscious hurled By winged thought beyond this present life, I seeming woke in a Dark World where rife Was Nothingness,--a darksome mist it seemed, All eke was naught;--no light for me there gleamed; And floating 'lone, which way I turned, saw naught; Nor felt of substance 'neath my feet, nor fraught With light was Space around; nor cheerful ray Of single star. The sun was quenched; or day Or night, knew not. No hands had I, nor feet, Nor head, nor body, all was void. No heat Or cold I felt, no form could feel or see; And naught I knew but conscious entity. No boundary my being felt, or had; And speechless, deaf, and blind, and formless, sad, I floated through dark space,--a conscious blank! No breath of air my spirit moved; I sank I knew not where, till motionless I ceased At last to move, and yet I could not rest, Around me spread the Limitless, and Vast. My cheerless, conscious spirit,--fixed and fast In some lone spot in space was moveless, stark! An atom chained by forces stern and dark, With naught around me. Comfortless I lived In my dread loneliness! Oh, how I grieved! And thus, man's fate in Life and Death is solved With naught but consciousness, and thus involved All men in hopes that no fruition have? And this alone was all that death me gave? That all had vanished, gone from me that life Could give, and left me but a blank, with strife Of rising thoughts, and vain regrets, to float;-- Away from life and light, be chained remote! "Oh, how my spirit longed for some lone crag To part the gloom beneath, and rudely drag My senses back! or with its shock to end My dire existence;--to oblivion send Me quickly! How I strove to curse, and break That soundless Void, with shrieks or cries, to wake That awful silence which around me spread! In vain! in vain! all but my soul was dead. And then my spirit soundless cried within: 'Oh, take me! take me back to Earth again!' For tortures of the flesh were bliss and joy To such existence! Pain can never cloy The smallest thrill of earthly happiness! 'Twas joy to live on earth in pain! I'll bless Thee, gods, if I may see its fields I've trod To kiss its fragrant flowers, and clasp the sod Of mother Earth, that grand and beauteous world! From all its happiness, alas! was hurled My spirit,--then in frenzy--I awoke! Great Bel! a dream it was! as vanished smoke It sped! and I sprang from my couch and prayed To all the gods, and thus my soul allayed. And then with blessings on my lips, I sought My couch, and dropped away in blissful thought In dream the second: