“Pierre is full of strange and terrible ideas,” she said. “They are
shared by other young men who fought bravely for France. To me they
seem wicked, and the talk of cowards, except that their medals tell of
courage. But the light in Hélène’s eyes weakens me. I’m too much of a
Frenchwoman to be stern with love.”
By those words of hers I was able to give Pierre a message of good-cheer
when he walked back with me that night, and he went away with gladness.
With gladness also did Elsa Brand set out next day for England where, as
a girl, she had known happy days, and where now her dream lived with the
man who stood beside her. Together we watched for the white cliffs, and
when suddenly the sun glinted on them she gave a little cry, and putting
her hand through Brand’s arm, said, “Our home!”
VII
I saw very little of Brand in London after Elsa’s arrival in his
parent’s house at Chelsea. I was busy, as usual, watching the way of the
world and putting my nose down to bits of blank paper which I proceeded
to spoil with futile words. Brand was doing the same thing in his study
on the top floor of the house in Cheyne Walk, while Elsa, in true German
style, was working embroidery or reading English literature to improve
her mind and her knowledge of the language.
Brand was endeavouring strenuously to earn money enough to make him free
of his father’s house. He failed, on the whole, rather miserably. He
began a novel on the war, became excited with it for the first six
chapters, then stuck hopelessly and abandoned it.
“I find it impossible,” he wrote to me, “to get the real thing into my
narrative. It is all wooden, unnatural, and wrong. I can’t get the right
perspective on paper, although I think I see it clear enough when I’m
not writing. The thing is too enormous, the psychology too complicated
for my power of expression. A thousand characters, four years of
experience, come crowding into my mind, and I can’t eliminate the
unessential and stick the point of my pen into the heart of truth.
Besides, the present state of the world, to say nothing of domestic
trouble, prevents anything like concentration... And my nerves have gone
to hell.”
After the abandonment of his novel he took to writing articles for
magazines and newspapers, some of which appeared, thereby producing
some useful guineas. I read them and liked their strength of style and
intensity of emotion. But they were profoundly pessimistic, and “the
gloomy Dean,” who was prophesying woe, had an able seconder in Wickham
Brand, who foresaw the ruin of civilisation and the downfall of the
British Empire because of the stupidity of the world’s leaders and the
careless ignorance of the multitudes. He harped too much on the same
string, and I fancied that editors would soon begin to tire of his
melancholy tune. I was right.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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