“We all know what we have done ourselves, and what we failed to do. I
give you the toast of our noble Allies, without whom there would be no
Armistice to-night. I drink to the glory of France----”
The words were heard at several tables, and for once there was a general
acknowledgment of the toast.
“_Vive la France!_”
The shout thundered out from all the tables, so that the candelabra
rattled. Five French interpreters in various parts of the room rose to
respond.
There were shouts of “The Stars and Stripes--Good old Yanks--Well done,
the U.S.A.!” and I was sorry Dr. Small was still at Valenciennes. I
should like him to have heard those shouts. An American staff officer
was on his feet, raising his glass to “England.”
Charles Fortune stood up at my table. He reminded me exceedingly at
that moment of old prints portraying George IV. in his youth--“the First
Gentleman of Europe”--slightly flushed, with an air of noble dignity and
a roguish eye.
“Go to it, Fortune,” said Brand. “Nobody’s listening, so you can say
what you like.”
“Gentlemen,” said Fortune, “I venture to propose the health of our late
enemy, the Germans.”
Young Clatworthy gave an hysterical guffaw.
“We owe them a very great debt,” said Fortune.
“But for their simplicity of nature and amiability of character the
British Empire--that glorious conglomeration of races upon which the sun
utterly declines to set--would have fallen into decay and debility as
a second-class Power. Before the war the German Empire was gaining our
trade, capturing all the markets of the world, waiting at table in all
the best hotels, and providing all the music in the _cafés-chantants_
of the universe.... With that immense unselfishness so characteristic
of their race, the Germans threw away these advantages and sacrificed
themselves for the benefit of the British. By declaring war they enabled
all the ancient virtues of our race to be revived. Generals sprang up
in every direction--especially in Whitehall, Boulogne and Rouen. Staff
officers multiplied exceedingly. British indigestion--the curse of our
race--became subject to a Sam Brown belt. Business men, mostly bankrupt,
were enriched enormously. Clergymen thundered joyfully from their
pulpits and went back to the Old Testament for that fine old law,
‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.’ Elderly virgins married the
youngest subalterns. The youngest flapper caught the eldest and wiliest
of bachelors. Our people were revivified, gentlemen--revivified-”
“Go easy,” growled Brand. “This is not a night for irony.”
“Even I,” said Charles Fortune, with a sob of pride in his voice,
“even I, a simple piano-tuner, a man of music, a child of peace and
melody--Shut up, Brand!--became every inch a soldier!”
He drew himself up in a heroic pose and, raising his glass, cried out:
“Here’s to our late enemy--poor old Fritz!”
A number of glasses were raised amidst a roar of laughter.
“Here’s to Fritz--and may the Kaiser roast at Christmas!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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