BURGE-LUBIN. The fact is, I have been behaving very recklessly for some time past under the impression that my life would be so short that it was not worth bothering about. But I have just learnt that I may live--well, much longer than I expected. I am sure your good sense will tell you that this alters the case. I-- THE NEGRESS [_with suppressed rage_] Oh, quite. Pray don't risk your precious, life on my account. Sorry for troubling you. Goodbye. [_She snatches out her peg and vanishes_]. BURGE-LUBIN [_urgently_] No: please hold on. I can convince you--[_a loud buzz-uzz-uzz_]. Engaged! Who is she calling up now? [_Represses the button and calls_] The Chief Secretary. Say I want to see him again, just for a moment. CONFUCIUS'S VOICE. Is the woman gone? BURGE-LUBIN. Yes, yes: it's all right. Just a moment, if--[_Confucius returns_] Confucius: I have some important business at Fishguard. The Irish Air Service can drop me in the bay by parachute. I suppose it's quite safe, isnt it? CONFUCIUS. Nothing is quite safe. The air service is as safe as any other travelling service. The parachute is safe. But the water is not safe. BURGE-LUBIN. Why? They will give me an unsinkable tunic, wont they? CONFUCIUS. You will not sink; but the sea is very cold. You may get rheumatism for life. BURGE-LUBIN. For life! That settles it: I wont risk it. CONFUCIUS. Good. You have at last become prudent: you are no longer what you call a sportsman: you are a sensible coward, almost a grown-up man. I congratulate you. BURGE-LUBIN [_resolutely_] Coward or no coward, I will not face an eternity of rheumatism for any woman that ever was born. [_He rises and goes to the rack for his fillet_] I have changed my mind: I am going home. [_He cocks the fillet rakishly_] Good evening. CONFUCIUS. So early? If the Minister of Health rings you up, what shall I tell her? BURGE-LUBIN. Tell her to go to the devil. [_He goes out_]. CONFUCIUS [_shaking his head, shocked at the President's impoliteness_] No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, these English! these crude young civilizations! Their manners! Hogs. Hogs. PART IV Tragedy of an Elderly Gentleman ACT I