ZOO. Only four as yet. It is a long business with us. I specialize in babies. My first was such a success that they made me go on. I-- THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_reeling on the bollard_] Oh! dear! ZOO. Whats the matter? Anything wrong? THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. In Heaven's name, madam, how old are you? ZOO. Fifty-six. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. My knees are trembling. I fear I am really ill. Not so young as I was. ZOO. I noticed that you are not strong on your legs yet. You have many of the ways and weaknesses of a baby. No doubt that is why I feel called on to mother you. You certainly are a very silly little Daddy. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_stimulated by indignation_] My name, I repeat, is Joseph Popham Bolge Bluebin Barlow, O.M. ZOO. What a ridiculously long name! I cant call you all that. What did your mother call you? THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. You recall the bitterest struggles of my childhood. I was sensitive on the point. Children suffer greatly from absurd nicknames. My mother thoughtlessly called me Iddy Toodles. I was called Iddy until I went to school, when I made my first stand for children's rights by insisting on being called at least Joe. At fifteen I refused to answer to anything shorter than Joseph. At eighteen I discovered that the name Joseph was supposed to indicate an unmanly prudery because of some old story about a Joseph who rejected the advances of his employer's wife: very properly in my opinion. I then became Popham to my family and intimate friends, and Mister Barlow to the rest of the world. My mother slipped back into Iddy when her faculties began to fail her, poor woman; but I could not resent that, at her age. ZOO. Do you mean to say that your mother bothered about you after you were ten? THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Naturally, madam. She was my mother. What would you have had her do? ZOO. Go on to the next, of course. After eight or nine children become quite uninteresting, except to themselves. I shouldnt know my two eldest if I met them. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_again drooping_] I am dying. Let me die. I wish to die. ZOO [_going to him quickly and supporting him_] Hold up. Sit up straight. Whats the matter? THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_faintly_] My spine, I think. Shock. Concussion. ZOO [_maternally_] Pow wow wow! What is there to shock you? [_Shaking him playfully_] There! Sit up; and be good. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_still feebly_] Thank you. I am better now. ZOO [_resuming her seat on the sacks_] But what was all the rest of that long name for? There was a lot more of it. Blops Booby or something.