_The visitor is so very unwelcome that his host forgets to rise; and the two brothers stare at the intruder, quite unable to conceal their dismay. Haslam, who has nothing clerical about him except his collar, and wears a snuff-colored suit, smiles with a frank school-boyishness that makes it impossible to be unkind to him, and explodes into obviously unpremeditated speech._ HASLAM. I'm afraid I'm an awful nuisance. I'm the rector; and I suppose one ought to call on people. THE TWEEDED GENTLEMAN [_in ghostly tones_] We're not Church people, you know. HASLAM. Oh, I don't mind that, if you don't. The Church people here are mostly as dull as ditch-water. I have heard such a lot about you; and there are so jolly few people to talk to. I thought you perhaps wouldn't mind. _Do_ you mind? for of course I'll go like a shot if I'm in the way. THE CLERICAL GENTLEMAN [_rising, disarmed_] Sit down, Mr--er? HASLAM. Haslam. THE CLERICAL GENTLEMAN. Mr Haslam. THE TWEEDED GENTLEMAN [_rising and offering him the stool_] Sit down. [_He retreats towards the Chippendale chairs_]. HASLAM [_sitting down on the stool_] Thanks awfully. THE CLERICAL GENTLEMAN [_resuming his seat_] This is my brother Conrad, Professor of Biology at Jarrowfields University: Dr. Conrad Barnabas. My name is Franklyn: Franklyn Barnabas. I was in the Church myself for some years. HASLAM [_sympathizing_] Yes: one cant help it. If theres a living in the family, or one's Governor knows a patron, one gets shoved into the Church by one's parents. CONRAD [_sitting down on the furthest Chippendale with a snort of amusement_] Mp! FRANKLYN. One gets shoved out of it, sometimes, by one's conscience. HASLAM. Oh yes; but where is a chap like me to go? I'm afraid I'm not intellectual enough to split straws when theres a job in front of me, and nothing better for me to do. I daresay the Church was a bit thick for you; but it's good enough for me. It will last my time, anyhow [_he laughs good-humoredly_]. FRANKLYN [_with renewed energy_] There again! You see, Con. It will last his time. Life is too short for men to take it seriously. HASLAM. Thats a way of looking at it, certainly. FRANKLYN. I was not shoved into the Church, Mr Haslam: I felt it to be my vocation to walk with God, like Enoch. After twenty years of it I realized that I was walking with my own ignorance and self-conceit, and that I was not within a hundred and fifty years of the experience and wisdom I was pretending to. HASLAM. Now I come to think of it, old Methuselah must have had to think twice before he took on anything for life. If I thought I was going to live nine hundred and sixty years, I don't think I should stay in the Church. FRANKLYN. If men lived even a third of that time, the Church would be very different from the thing it is.