Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
Now, however, supposing that, for the sake of argument, the above be
true; but, in addition thereto, a segregation of non-metallic vertically
heterogeneous quartzite in non-conformity to presupposed notions of
horizontal deposits of mineral in place should be agatized and
truncated with diverging lines meeting at the point of intersection and
disappearing with the pinched veins or departing from known proximity
in company with the dividends, we have then to consider whether a winze
coming in at this juncture and pinching out the assessments, would
thereby invalidate tertiary flux, and thereby, in the light of a close
legal examination of the slide, bar out the placer or riparian rights
of contesting parties, or, if so, why in thunder should it not, or
at least, what could be done about it in case the same or a totally
different set of surrounding circumstances should or should not take
place?
DRAWBACKS OF ROYALTY.
|IT seems from our late dispatches that the prevailing assassin has
made his appearance in England, and has fired at Her Royal Tallness, the
Queen. The dispatch does not say why the man fired at Victoria, but the
chances are that she at some time in a careless moment refused him the
appointment of Book-keeper to the Queen's Livery Stable Extraordinary,
or neglected to confirm his nomination to the position as Usher
Plenipotentiary to the Royal Bath Room and Knight of the Queen's
Cuspidor.
Royalty gets it in the nose every day or two, and yet after the family
has hung onto the salary for several centuries it does not occur to
the average king that he could strike a job as humorist on some London
paper, at about the same salary and with none of the annoyances. The
most of those people who have worn a great, heavy cast iron crown, with
diamonds on it as big as a peanut, have become so attached to it that
they can't swear off in a moment.
We do not see where the orchestra comes in on a thing like that. The
average American would rather sell mining stock, and get wealthy without
a tail on his name and his hair all worn off with a crown two sizes too
large for him, than to be King of the Cannibal Islands with a missionary
baby on toast twice a day.
ENGLISH HUMOR
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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