Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
This prerogative does not confine itself to politics alone. The
impromptu revelator of the Jordan has revelations when he wants to evade
the payment of a bill. He gets a divine order also if he desires to
marry a beautiful maid or seal the new school ma'am to himself. He has
a leverage which he can bring to bear upon the people of his diocese at
all times, even more potent than the press, and it does not possess the
drawbacks that a newspaper does. You can run an aggressive paper if you
want to in this country, and up to the time of the funeral you have a
pretty active and enjoyable time, but after the grave has been filled up
with the clods of the valley and your widow has drawn her insurance,
you naturally ask, "What is the advantage to be gained by this fearless
style of journalism?"
Still, even the inspired racket has its drawbacks. Last year, a little
incident occurred in a Mormon family down in southern Utah, which
weighed about nine pounds, and when the _ex officio_ husband, who had
been absent two years, returned, he acted kind of wild and surprised,
somehow, and as he went through the daily round of his work he could be
seen counting his fingers back and forth and looking at the almanac,
and adding up little amounts on the side of the barn with a piece of red
chalk.
Finally, one of the inspired mob of that part of the vineyard thought it
was about time to get a revelation and go down there, so he did so.
He sailed up to the _de facto_ husband and _quasi_ parent and solemnly
straightened up some little irregularities as to dates, but the
revelation was received with disdain, and the revelator was sent home in
an old ore sack and buried in a peach basket.
Sometimes there is, even in Utah, a manifestation of such irreverence
and open hostility to the church that it makes us shudder.
SAGE BRUSH TONIC.
|WE have a scheme on hand which we believe will be even more
remunerative than the newspaper business, if successfully carried
out. It is to construct a national remedy and joy-to-the-world tonic,
composed of the carefully expressed juice of our Rocky mountain tropical
herb, known as the sage brush. Sage brush is known to possess wonderful
medicinal properties. It is bitter enough to act as a tonic and to
convey the idea of great strength. Our idea would be to have our
portrait on each bottle, to attract attention and aid in effecting a
cure. We have noticed that the homeliest men succeed best as patent
medicine inventors, and this would be right in our hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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