Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"Nye, Bill
General
Baled Hay: A Drier Book than Walt Whitman's "Leaves o' Grass"
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
Thus these books are made which come to us wrapped in manilla and
franked by the man we voted for last fall. Beautiful lithographs,
illustrating the different stages of hog cholera, deck their pages. Rich
oil paintings of gaudy tobacco worms chase each other from preface to
errata. Magnificent chromos of the foot and mouth disease appeal to us
from page after page, and statistics boil out between them, showing what
per cent of invalid or convalescent animals was sent abroad, and what
per cent was worked into oleomargarine and pressed corn beef.
And what becomes of all this wealth of information--this mammoth
aggregation of costly knowledge?
Cast ruthlessly away by a trifling, shallow, frivolous and
freckle-minded race!
It is no more than right that Sterling P. Rounds should know this. How
it will gall his proud heart to know how his beautiful books, and
his chatty and spicy Congressional Record are treated by a jeering,
heartless throng! Do you suppose that I would perspire over doubtful
copy night after night, and then tread a job printing press all the next
day printing books at which the bloodless, soulless public sneered, and
the broad-browed talent of a cruel generation spit upon? Not exactly.
I have a moderate amount of patience and self-control, but I am free
to say right here before the world, that if I had been in Mr. Rounds'
place, and had at great cost erected a scientific work upon "The Rise
and Fall of Botts in America," and a flippant nation of scoffers had
utilized that volume to press autumn leaves and scraggly ferns in, I
would rise in my proud might and mash the forms with a mallet, I would
jerk the lever of the Washington press into the middle of the effulgent
hence. I would kick over my case, wipe the roller on the frescoed walls,
and feed my statistics, to the hungry flames.
No publisher has ever been treated more shabbily; no compositor has, in
the history of literature, been more rudely disregarded and derided.
Think of this, dear reader, when you look carelessly over the brief
but wonderful career of the hop-louse, or with apparent _ennui_ dawdle
through the treatise on colic among silk-worms, and facial neuralgia
among fowls.
This will not only please Mr. Rounds, the young and struggling
compositor, but it will gratify and encourage all the friends of
American progress and the lovers of learning throughout our whole land.
A REPRODUCTIVE COMET.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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