And Barbara? Ah! she undoubtedly would agree with almost every word of
it; he caught himself wondering whether the position he had won, and
which he owed in a measure,--perhaps in a very great measure,--to his
wife's fortune, would be really forfeited, were he to become again a
comparatively poor man. Berwick had by no means forgotten what it was to
be straitened in means; and he realised that want of substantial wealth
had been a great bar even to Lord Bosworth. Still, oddly enough, the
thought of giving up his wealth for the sake of Barbara was beginning to
appeal to his imagination. He went so far as to tell himself that, had
he come across her as a girl, he would of course have married her, and
forfeited his large income without a regret.
So it was that, during the long solitary spring day, spent by him almost
wholly in the forest, Berwick experienced many phases of acute and
varying feeling, most of which tended to war with the course to which he
was being inexorably driven by his sense of honour rather than by his
conscience.
But for Boringdon's revelation as to Pedro Rebell's state, Berwick's
conscience would have been at ease. So much he had the honesty to admit.
Apart from that one point which so intimately involved his honour, he
was without scruple, and that although he loved Barbara the more for
being, as he well knew she was, scrupulous, and, as he thought,
conscience-ridden. Nothing, so he told himself again and again during
those hours of fierce battle, could alter the fact that she belonged to
him in that special sense which is, as concerns a man and a woman, the
outcome of certain emotional experiences only possible between two
natures which are drawn to one another by an over-mastering instinct.
In the days that followed the fire at Chancton Priory, there had arisen,
between Berwick and Barbara, a deep, wordless intimacy and communion,
which at the time had had the effect of making him divine what was in
her mind, with a clearness which had struck those about them as being
actually uncanny. And yet it was then, during those days, that Berwick
had sworn to himself that his love was pure and selfless in its essence.
As she had lain there, her hand quivering when it felt his touch, every
gross element of his nature had become fused and refined in the clear
flame of his passion. It had been during these exquisite, to him sacred
moments, that he had told himself that on these terms of spiritual
closeness and fusion he would be content to remain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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