Barren Honour: A NovelLawrence, George A. (George Alfred)
General
Barren Honour: A Novel
Lawrence, George A. (George Alfred)
Fiction
Alan Wyverne was not so rarely gifted. The bustle of the heavy journey
from Dene to the railroad, and the uncertainty about catching the train,
helped him at first; but when all that was over, and he was fairly on
his way to town, he was forced to _think_, whether he would or no.
Anything was better than brooding over the past; he tried desperately to
force his thoughts into the immediate future--to imagine what he should
say to his uncle, and how the Squire would take the heavy tidings. The
effort was worse than vain. The strong stream laughed at the puny
attempts to stem it, sweeping all such obstacles away, as it rushed down
its appointed channel. All the plans he had talked over with Helen, even
to the smallest details of their proposed domestic economy, came back
one by one; he remembered every word of their last playful argument,
when he tried to persuade her that certain luxuries for her boudoir at
Wyverne Abbey were necessities not to be dispensed with; he remembered
how they had speculated as to the disposal of the money, if his solitary
bet on the next Derby, 1000 to 10 about a rising favourite--should by
any chance come off right; how they had weighed gravely the advantages
of three months of winter in Italy against the pleasures of an
adventurous expedition whose turning-point should be the Lebanon. What
did it matter now who won or lost? Was it only yesterday that he had an
interest in all these things? Yesterday--between him and that word there
seemed already a gulf of years. Yesterday, he had felt so proud in
anticipating the triumphs of his beautiful bride; now, he could only
think of her certain success with a heavy sinking of the heart, or a hot
fierce jealousy; for she was all his own treasure then; one night had
made her the world's again. That miserable journey scarcely lasted four
hours; but when it ended, Wyverne was as much morally changed as he
might have been, physically, by a long wasting sickness.
Does it seem strange that a man, who up to this time had met all
reverses with a careless gaiety that was almost provoking, should go
down so helplessly now before a blow that would scarcely stagger many of
our acquaintance? A great deal, in such cases, depends on the
antecedents. Human nature, however elastic and enduring, will only stand
a certain amount of "beating." When Captain Lyndon is in good luck and
good funds, he accepts the loss of a hundred or two with dignified
equanimity, if not with chirping cheerfulness; but supposing the bad
night comes at the end of a long evil "vein"--when financial prospects
are gloomier than the yellow fog outside--when the face of his banker is
set against him, as it were a millstone--when that reckless soldier
Would liever mell with the fiends of hell,
Than with Craig's Court and its band.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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