That combination of high-heartedness and bashfulness, a blended temerity
and timidity,--by no means an uncommon temperament,--renders a man's
position in the embarrassments of life one of downright suffering. There
are operators who feel the knife more sensitively than the patients. Few
know what torments such men conceal under a manner of seeming slap-dash
and carelessness. Hunter was of this order, and would, any day of his
life, far rather have confronted a real peril than met a contingency
that demanded such an address. It was, then, with a sense of relief he
learned, on arrival at the barracks, that Conyers had gone out for
a walk, so that there was a reprieve at least of a few hours of the
penalty that overhung him.
The trumpet-call for the mess had just sounded as Conyers gained the
door of the Colonel's quarters, and Hunter taking Fred's arm, they
crossed the barrack-square together.
“I have a great deal to say to you, Conyers,” said he, hurriedly; “part
of it unpleasant,--none of it, indeed, very gratifying--”
“I know you are going to leave us, sir,” said Fred, who perceived the
more than common emotion in the other's manner. “And for myself, I own I
have no longer any desire to remain in the regiment. I might go further,
and say no more zest for the service. It was through your friendship for
me I learned to curb many and many promptings to resistance, and when
_you_ go--”
“I am very sorry,--very, very sorry to leave you all,” said Hunter,
with a broken voice. “It is not every man that proudly can point to
seven-and-twenty-years' service in a regiment without one incident to
break the hearty cordiality that bound us. We had no bickerings, no
petty jealousies amongst us. If a man joined us who wanted partisanship
and a set, he soon found it better to exchange. I never expect again
to lead the happy life I have here, and I 'd rather have led our bold
squadrons in the field than have been a General of Division.” Who could
have believed that he, whose eyes ran over, as he spoke these broken
words, was, five minutes after, the gay and rattling Colonel his
officers always saw him, full of life, spirit, and animation, jocularly
alluding to his speedy departure, and gayly speculating on the
comparisons that would be formed between himself and his successor? “I'm
leaving him the horses in good condition,” said he; “and when Hargrave
learns to give the word of command above a whisper, and Eyreton can ride
without a backboard, he 'll scarcely report you for inefficiency.” It
is fair to add, that the first-mentioned officer had a voice like a
bassoon, and the second was the beau-ideal of dragoon horsemanship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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