College teachers -- Fiction; Interpersonal relations -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
But mercifully she heard no sound nearly as loud as the throbbing of her
own heart. Each step made her feel weaker and more miserable as it
lifted her into the hot darkness of the third-story hall with its smell
of dry wood and camphor and other faintly odorous objects. The shutters
were closed tight and the blinds were drawn, but through them and
through the roof the sun penetrated until the air was furnace-heated.
She gasped, feeling a sharp pain in her head, but she moved on, her hand
against the wall, to the door of Basil's room.
There she turned the key and entered. The temperature was higher than
that of the hall and the odors stronger and more significant. Each
simple article of furniture, the narrow bed, the high, old-fashioned
bureau, the little washstand with its Spartan fittings, a single chair,
a little table, the old trunk, all was as it had been for twenty years.
In it was no life or reminder of life; it was empty, terrible as an old
burial vault.
She did not open a window and thereby admit a breath of saving though
heated air; her purpose must be quickly accomplished and admitted of no
discovery and no interruption. She believed that if any one should come
upon her suddenly at this moment she would die of shock. She went
directly to the old bureau and opened the upper drawer. There, each
garment wrapped in paper with a little piece of camphor in its folds,
lay specimens of Basil's clothes going as far back as a little winter
coat discarded when he was five. How often had she wept over them! How
speedily her husband or Thomasina would have consigned them to the
flames, refusing to connect a human life with the garments of the past,
now so grotesque!
Thrusting her hand beneath the lower layer, she brought out a key and
with it opened the second drawer. Then she stood very still. The drawer
was not filled to the top, but held only a few large, thick old tablets
in a pile, a few books, a small handful of letters, a half-dozen pens
and pencils, a little penwiper and a half-dozen packages of paper
thickly covered with writing in a small, delicate hand.
She lifted the tablets and, trembling, turned the yellowed pages, also
covered with close writing. She lifted the packages of paper and laid
them softly back. When she took the letters in her hand, tears ran down
her cheeks. Here was her father's handwriting, here her own, here even
her mother's. Only once had Mrs. Everman left her home, and it was then,
upon the occasion of a funeral in her family, that she had written to
her children. That he had kept this letter, which, when it came, he had
been too young to read, or even to understand, was a redeeming, a
consoling incident in Basil's life. The little penwiper moved her most
strongly. She remembered when it was made, what scraps of her own
dresses composed it; she laid it carefully away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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