And was it not possible that such conditions should unite in a woman
like Beatrice, who combined in herself a beauty of body which was only
outpassed by the beauty of her mind? It was no answer to say that most
women could never inspire the unearthly passion with which he had been
shaken some ten hours past, or that most men could never become aware
of the inspiration. Has not humanity powers and perceptions denied to
the cattle of the fields, and may there not be men and women as far
removed from their fellows in this respect as these are from the
cattle?
But the weak point of mysterious occurrences is that they lead nowhere,
and do not materially alter the facts of life. One cannot, for
instance, plead a mystery in a court of law; so, dropping the
imaginative side of the question as one beyond him, Geoffrey came to
its practical aspect, only to find it equally thorny.
Odd as it may seem, Geoffrey did not to this moment know the exact
position which he occupied in the mind of Beatrice, or that she
occupied in his. He was not in love with her, at least not in a way in
which he had ever experienced the influence of that, on the whole,
inconvenient and disagreeable passion. At any rate he argued from the
hypothesis that he was not in love with her. This he refused to admit
now in the light of day, though he had admitted it fully in the watches
of the night. It would not do to admit it. But he was forced to
acknowledge that she had crept into his life and possessed it so
completely that then and for months afterwards, except in deep sleep or
in hours of severe mental strain, not a single half hour would pass
without bringing its thought of Beatrice. Everything that was
beautiful, or grand, or elevating, reminded him of her—and what higher
compliment could a mistress have? If he listened to glorious music, the
voice of Beatrice spoke to him through the notes; if he watched the
clouds rolling in heavy pomp across a broken sky he thought of
Beatrice; if some chance poem or novel moved him, why Beatrice was in
his mind to share the pleasure. All of which was very interesting, and
in some ways delightful, but under our current system not otherwise
than inconvenient to a married man.
And now Beatrice was gone, and he must come back to his daily toil,
sweetened by Honoria’s bitter complaints of their poverty, and see her
no more. The thought made Geoffrey’s heart ache with a physical pain,
but his reason told him that it was best so. After all, there were no
bones broken; there had been no love scenes, no kiss, no words that
cannot be recalled; whatever there was lay beneath the surface, and
while appearances were kept up all was well. No doubt it was an
hypocrisy, but then hypocrisy is one of the great pillars of
civilization, and how does it matter what the heart says while the lips
are silent? The Recording Angel can alone read hearts, and he must
often find them singularly contradictory and untrustworthy writings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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