Beauchamp; or, The Error.James, G. P. R. (George Payne Rainsford)
History
Beauchamp; or, The Error.
James, G. P. R. (George Payne Rainsford)
Great Britain -- History -- 18th century -- Fiction
a necessity for action, a _cacoethes agenda_, which we can scarcely
restrain. We cannot sit down quietly and wait for time and
circumstances to present favourable opportunities, as we should do,
when the affairs in our hands were but matters of indifference to
ourselves; calm, business-like transactions, in which we have no
personal feeling. The heart comes in at every turn, and perplexes all
the fine plans of the head; and we must be up and doing, whether the
moment be favourable, or not. Mary Clifford felt all this, and was, in
some degree, aware of the unreasonableness of precipitancy. She
thought it might be better to wait and see, and yet anxiety,
eagerness, affection, urged her to do something, or something, at
least, for her uncle, as soon as possible. She could not rest under
the load; she felt as if activity would be almost a crime; and thought
she could see no light whichever way she turned, yet she resolved to
attempt something, not feeling very sure, whether she should do injury
or not.
Such was the course of her meditations, for nearly half an hour, after
Ned Hayward left her; and yet it must be confessed that, though these
meditations were upon painful subjects, they were not altogether
painful. Did you ever listen attentively, dear reader, to one of those
fine and masterly pieces of Beethoven's writings, where the great
composer seems to take a delight in puzzling and perplexing the hearer
drowning him, as it were, under a flood of harmony, where discords are
as frequently introduced as any thing else? But still, through them
all runs a strain of melody, which links them all together.
Such was very much the case of Mary Clifford. For, although the
general train of her thoughts was sombre, and there was much cause for
sadness in all she had heard, there was something very sweet--she
herself knew not what--that mingled with the old current of
reflection, and harmonised it beautifully. It was something
hopeful--expectant--trustful--a belief that by the agency of some one
all would go right.--Was it love? Was it the first dawn of that which,
to the young mind, is like the dawn of the morning, that softens and
beautifies every thing? I cannot tell; but, at all events, it was so
far undeveloped, that, like the strain of melody which pours through
the whole of a fine composition, giving a tone of richness and
sweetness to every part, it was undistinguishable from the rest, felt
and known to be there as a thing separate and alone, and yet
inseparable.
Whenever she tried to distinguish it, fear seized upon her, and she
flew away again. Why was she happy, when all that she had heard was
the most likely to render her otherwise? She did not know, she would
not know; but still she gave way to the feeling, although she would
not give way to the thought; and while she shrunk from clothing her
own sensations in distinctness, longed to render them distinct, that
she might enjoy them more fully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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