Some time after Beauchamp had been seen renewing his canvass in
Bevisham a report reached Mount Laurels that he was lame of a leg. The
wits of the opposite camp revived the FRENCH MARQUEES, but it was
generally acknowledged that he had come back without the lady: she was
invisible. Cecilia Halkett rode home with her father on a dusky Autumn
evening, and found the card of Commander Beauchamp awaiting her. He
might have stayed to see her, she thought. Ladies are not customarily
so very late in returning from a ride on chill evenings of Autumn. Only
a quarter of an hour was between his visit and her return. The
shortness of the interval made it appear the deeper gulf. She noticed
that her father particularly inquired of the man-servant whether
Captain Beauchamp limped. It seemed a piece of kindly anxiety on his
part. The captain was mounted, the man said. Cecilia was conscious of
rumours being abroad relating to Nevil’s expedition to France; but he
had enemies, and was at war with them, and she held herself indifferent
to tattle. This card bearing his name, recently in his hand, was much
more insidious and precise. She took it to her room to look at it.
Nothing but his name and naval title was inscribed; no pencilled line;
she had not expected to discover one. The simple card was her dark
light, as a handkerchief, a flower, a knot of riband, has been for men
luridly illuminated by such small sparks to fling their beams on
shadows and read the monstrous things for truths. Her purer virgin
blood was not inflamed. She read the signification of the card sadly as
she did clearly. What she could not so distinctly imagine was, how he
could reconcile the devotion to his country, which he had taught her to
put her faith in, with his unhappy subjection to Madame de Rouaillout.
How could the nobler sentiment exist side by side with one that was
lawless? Or was the wildness characteristic of his political views
proof of a nature inclining to disown moral ties? She feared so; he did
not speak of the clergy respectfully. Reading in the dark, she was
forced to rely on her social instincts, and she distrusted her personal
feelings as much as she could, for she wished to know the truth of him;
anything, pain and heartrending, rather than the shutting of the eyes
in an unworthy abandonment to mere emotion and fascination. Cecilia’s
love could not be otherwise given to a man, however near she might be
drawn to love—though she should suffer the pangs of love cruelly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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