Cecilia said, “Yet I cannot discern in him a veneration for
aristocracy.” “That’s not wanted for modern Toryism,” said Nevil. “One
may venerate old families when they show the blood of the founder, and
are not dead wood. I do. And I believe the blood of the founder, though
the man may have been a savage and a robber, had in his day finer
elements in it than were common. But let me say at a meeting that I
respect true aristocracy, I hear a growl and a hiss beginning: why?
Don’t judge them hastily: because the people have seen the aristocracy
opposed to the cause that was weak, and only submitting to it when it
commanded them to resist at their peril; clinging to traditions, and
not anywhere standing for humanity: much more a herd than the people
themselves. Ah! well, we won’t talk of it now. I say that is no
aristocracy, if it does not head the people in virtue—military,
political, national: I mean the qualities required by the times for
leadership. I won’t bother you with my ideas now. I love to see you
paint-brush in hand.”
Her brush trembled on the illumination of a scarlet maple. “In this
country we were not originally made free and equal by decree, Nevil.”
“No,” said he, “and I cast no blame on our farthest ancestors.”
It struck her that this might be an outline of a reply to Mr. Austin.
“So you have been thinking over it?” he asked.
“Not to conclusions,” she said, trying to retain in her mind the
evanescent suggestiveness of his previous remark, and vexed to find
herself upon nothing but a devious phosphorescent trail there.
Her forehead betrayed the unwonted mental action. He cried out for
pardon. “What right have I to bother you? I see it annoys you. The
truth is, I came for peace. I think of you when they talk of English
homes.”
She felt then that he was comparing her home with another, a foreign
home. After he had gone she felt that there had been a comparison of
two persons. She remembered one of his observations: “Few women seem to
have courage”; when his look at her was for an instant one of scrutiny
or calculation. Under a look like that we perceive that we are being
weighed. She had no clue to tell her what it signified.
Glorious and solely glorious love, that has risen above emotion, quite
independent of craving! That is to be the bird of upper air, poised on
his wings. It is a home in the sky. Cecilia took possession of it
systematically, not questioning whether it would last; like one who is
too enamoured of the habitation to object to be a tenant-at-will. If it
was cold, it was in recompense immeasurably lofty, a star-girdled
place; and dwelling in it she could avow to herself the secret which
was now working self-deception, and still preserve her pride unwounded.
Her womanly pride, she would have said in vindication of it: but
Cecilia Halkett’s pride went far beyond the merely womanly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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