“Very well, sir. Now mark, I will be plain with you. There is no escape
for you from this. You destroy my cousin’s professional prospects—I
request you to listen—you blast his career in the navy; it was
considered promising. He was a gallant officer and a smart seaman. Very
well. You set him up as a politician, to be knocked down, to a dead
certainty. You set him against his class; you embroil him with his
family ...”
“On all those points,” interposed Dr. Shrapnel, after dashing a hand to
straighten his forelock; but Cecil vehemently entreated him to control
his temper.
“I say you embroil him with his family, you cause him to be in
everlasting altercation with his uncle Mr. Romfrey, materially to his
personal detriment; and the question of his family is one that every
man of sense would apprehend on the spot; for we, you should know,
have, sir, an opinion of Captain Beauchamp’s talents and abilities
forbidding us to think he could possibly be the total simpleton you
make him appear, unless to the seductions of your political
instructions, other seductions were added.... You apprehend me, I am
sure.”
“I don’t,” cried the doctor, descending from his height and swinging
about forlornly.
“Oh! yes, you do; you do indeed, you cannot avoid it; you quite
apprehend me; it is admitted that you take my meaning: I insist on
that. I have nothing to say but what is complimentary of the young
lady, whoever she may turn out to be; bewitching, no doubt; and to
speak frankly, Dr. Shrapnel, I, and I am pretty certain every honest
man would think with me, I take it to be ten times more creditable to
my cousin Captain Beauchamp that he should be under a lady’s influence
than under yours. Come, sir! I ask you. You must confess that a gallant
officer and great admirer of the sex does not look such a donkey if he
is led in silken strings by a beautiful creature. And mark—stop! mark
this, Dr. Shrapnel: I say, to the lady we can all excuse a good deal,
and at the same time you are to be congratulated on first-rate
diplomacy in employing so charming an agent. I wish, I really wish you
did it generally, I assure you: only, mark this—I do beg you to contain
yourself for a minute, if possible—I say, my cousin Captain Beauchamp
is fair game to hunt, and there is no law to prevent the chase, only
you must not expect us to be quiet spectators of your sport; and we
have, I say, undoubtedly a right to lay the case before the lady, and
induce her to be a peace-agent in the family if we can. Very well.”
“This garden is redolent of a lady’s hand,” sighed Palmet, poetical in
his dejection.
“Have you taken too much wine, gentlemen?” said Dr. Shrapnel.
Cecil put this impertinence aside with a graceful sweep of his fingers.
“You attempt to elude me, sir.”
“Not I! You mention some lady.”
“Exactly. A young lady.”
“What is the name of the lady?”
“Oh! You ask the name of the lady. And I too. What is it? I have heard
two or three names.”
“Then you have heard villanies.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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